Sooze's Story
by
Diana Walker and Reagan Kavanagh
This work of
adult fiction, loosely based on
characters portrayed by Russell Crowe, includes adult language and
experiences;
you have been warned. No
copyright
infringement on the original work is intended.
DIANA
Now this feels weird. Pulling together a compensation package and partnership calculations for Sooze isn’t the odd thing; it’s having full access to all the raw accounting information and having no parameters for my recommendations. I’m used to getting a very small budget to be spread equitably among a very large employee population in a year where the company did very well and then having to explain the company’s actions.
There are some advantages to working for a small firm. Large companies are so compartmented, and departments are incredibly territorial about data; it can make my individual work very hard to integrate. Max, Dino, and Terry opened the books and said, “Go to it. Make it right.”
I am very clear I am working for TEO in pulling together this information. I may not be paid for it, but I’m treating this like a professional commission. That means Terry gets no advance notice on my progress nor will his own wishes have undue influence on my recommendations. The first time he will see any of my work product will be with Max and Dino in the room.
The very first thing to do is to identify my underlying assumptions – the ones that are so deep that they would influence any decision I make. They would decide whether I rounded decimal places up or down without me even knowing it unless I drag them out and examine them.
The first given is that each of the three current partners would give up equal shares of each of their stakes in the business. No matter the size of her partnership, when it comes to a deadlock among the other three, Sooze will be the deciding vote. That’s a lot of power to hand over to anyone.
Terry, Max, and Dino are rarely in the field together, but when they’re operational, decisions are agreed to quickly. Trees and boulders don’t have many shades of grey to them; they can’t be moved to provide cover. In addition, the guys’ military training kicks in. Respect for the chain of command is paramount; it’s kept soldiers from being killed for thousands of years. It’s the business decisions that cause the guys the most trouble.
They each have such different cultural considerations to take into account. With Terry having the Far East, Max Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, and Dino the Americas,
Then there are the very different personalities of the three. Dino’s the loose cannon, balls to the wall, instinctual, act first, then think like a businessman. Terry approaches business decisions with research and facts before presenting the proposal in the way most likely to gain him agreement to his preferred approach. He can be most effective in boardrooms because he looks and acts like other corporate executives. Max rivals Terry in his studiousness. His pragmatism can make any decision work. The only thing that holds Max back is his formality at informal corporate functions; Terry does the ‘hail, fellow, well met’ jocularity much better than Max.
Dino pushes for TEO corporate decisions; Terry and Max provide the well-researched options. Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly, LLP is a very balanced, formidable firm when they decide on a business strategy.
It’s the decision making process that will make Suzanne Maria Robertson-Vega the most influential person in the K&R industry no matter how small her stake in the company. When the three men deadlock on a three way split decision, Sooze will decide the direction the company will take.
The other assumption I need to address quickly is Sooze’s actual function in the firm. I haven’t been in the office enough to have a good sense of what being TEO’s office manager entails. Being the good consultant that I am, the best way to address that is to wine and dine the principal who engaged me and pump him for information.
I turn from the Excel spreadsheet with TEO’s financial records that have made my eyes sore from reading all day and look over to the sofa where said principal is reading the Straits Times with a very contented Labrador
“Terry, what do you want for dinner tonight?”
TERRY
Diana eases away from me and picks up her pen. “So, Sooze doesn’t have a clue you intend to offer her a partnership?”
I’ve been wondering about the yellow pad sitting beside Diana’s plate all throughout dinner. With her question, we are now in consultant/client discussion. Further exploration of her neck and ears is suspended until her fact-finding mission is over.
“She has to know something’s in the wind as we’ve had some closed door meetings without her, but I believe she’s unaware as to the true nature of our discussions. There’ve been no documents floating about for her to read as you’ve only begun to formulate the proposal.”
“Then I need to pick your brain on what it is exactly that Sooze does for you. I know her as the receptionist and computer guru. What else does she do, and how much discretion does she have?”
“Let’s see, travel agent. She’s very vocal if any one of us doesn’t utilise the firms with whom she’s negotiated contracts. In fact, she’s taken over all purchasing from Dino. The last time the lease was renewed, we were all out of the office. We came back to boxes stacked in the halls, and that got the leasing agent’s attention. Apparently, Sooze is every bit the negotiator we fancy ourselves.”
“Terry, she has to be. She’s a single mom.”
“Let me paint you a better picture. Whilst Downtown office occupancy rates were hovering at 85 to 90 per cent, she negotiated the lease at our current rate.”
“Oh.” Diana continues writing furiously in the dimly lit dining room. Since this has become a business meeting, I rise and add lighting so she can read her notes tomorrow. She won’t be transcribing them tonight; I have other plans for her once this ‘meeting’ is done, and they have nothing to do with work.
“Thank you.”
“She’s outstanding at client contact. Most times, if we are unavailable, our follow-up call is superfluous; Sooze has handled whatever the problem was. Max had a new Spanish client who called several times a day; Sooze volunteered to make pre-emptive contact with him and weaned him off the constant need. Now when we sign a new contract, Sooze has a communications plan in place for each.”
“What else?”
“She’s the banker. Dino and I are the audit for her. None of us has touched the books in months but to look at them.
“She has this ability to draft letters that sound like each of us. By the time I get the mail, she’s attached a response to the lesser matters for my signature. That saves me countless hours of reading and may stave off my need for readers a few more years. I was quite pleased with the new perq for the CEO until one day over lunch Dino told me she’d been doing it for him for years.” We had a bit of a giggle over Dino’s history of stretching the truth, the veracity of his statement, and his ability to prick my ego.
“She’s so good at it some of Max’s clients still don’t know that he went missing.”
“What else?” There’s a deeper question Diana wants answered.
“Ask the question you really want.”
“I won’t ask you something I wouldn’t ask in a more formal setting.”
“You mean where you’re not involved with the client?”
“Precisely. In addition, this isn’t a feasibility study; you want me to tell you how to implement. It’s not my business on why you want to take a particular action.”
“Go ahead and ask.”
“Sooze sounds amazing and worth every penny you pay her. You may need to increase it. But why make her a junior partner?”
Diana misinterprets my sigh. My memories of Dino’s initial reluctance to give up any of his stake in the business had elicited it. “Terry, perhaps you should get someone else to design this.”
“Never. When you took me on, you took on my work as well. You’ve put up with the long hours and the travel schedule. You can help with this. Why should we go outside when we have our own expert in house? When we needed a profiler, we looked to Reags. The precedent is long established, and you’ve the background to work your magic with business processes.”
“A real consultant wouldn’t question what you want to do.”
“You’re bona fide. You’re taking the liberty of satisfying your curiosity because you can; I know you aren’t asking from a personal standpoint. This is the question you’ve wanted to ask on every odd situation you’ve been handed.” She smiles and shrugs at being sussed.
“You have more knowledge of the firm and our special circumstances than we could ever give an outsider. Besides Sooze being a bloody good employee, she’s proven herself exceptionally discreet. She’s stepped in unobtrusively when we’ve had some tense times in the office; she understands our military mindset. Her loyalty is beyond question. Besides her skills, we can’t afford to have her leave. Part and parcel of our business is having our clients trust us. Could they trust us if we had a new voice answer the phone every time they called? Not bloody likely.
“When I first brought up giving Sooze part of the business, Dino accused me of trotting out my white knight for another woman who didn’t need rescuing.” Diana recognizes my sigh from earlier for what it was – acknowledgement of the hard discussions we’d had answering the question she’d asked. Her concern had already been examined thoroughly.
“That had been the closed door discussions. In a firm as small as ours, everybody has to be better than their best. We wouldn’t have been as successful as we’ve been without her.
“Partnership is our way of having her stay with us for the duration. We need her to know that we need her. We’ve each come to that conclusion in our own way and with our own reasons.”
Three days following our client/consultant dinner Diana rides to work with me for her presentation. She’s told me nothing about her recommendations, and from her silence on the way in, I’ll not hear anything today until Max and Dino are present.
DINO
Max and Terry are already seated midway down the big glass table, probably better to see the slide show loaded on Dee's
“Good morning, Gentlemen. Ready to get started? The sooner you see my calculations, the sooner you can make your decisions and get Sooze on board.” Dee
She leads us through the basics briefly – the past three years sales, expenses, and profit – before laying into the beef. I’ve seen her in this mode before when she was running the job down in Argentina;
“First, based on these duties,” Dee switches to the next screen showing Sooze’s current job description, “I’d recommend an increase to her base pay of no less than $7,500, and I’d like to see it closer to $10,000.”
“Jesus, Dee! That’s a shitload of money!” Max is silent as he checks off the listed duties on his copy of the presentation and writes below them. Terry’s looking at the screen, and I can see him going through his own picture of what Sooze does for him.
“Yes, it is.” She flips up another slide showing base rates of unnamed competitors’ office managers; there are eight companies listed, some in differing industries. “This one, this one, and this one pay less, but their managers are little more than glorified receptionists. These companies,” Dee backs to the board and points to the top two lines, “pay significantly higher for similar work, but you’ll notice that their benefits packages cost out less than TEO’s. Adding the base and benefits, Sooze is still slightly less. These figures have been adjusted for geographic cost of living differences and salary increase timing, by the way, so you’re dealing with like figures. In the mix of companies, I’ve included firms outside risk management, but all in Dallas,
“I chose Sooze’s increase amount based on where your,” she looked each of us in the eye, “base salaries fall in your competitors’ rankings.”
Terry turns to the next page in his packet and looks at it with a small smile. Max shifts uncomfortably in his seat; it’s up to me to defend our salaries.
“Hell, Dee,
She laughs at me. “Thanks for telling me where you got the numbers. I guessed you hadn’t done much research on it. It really doesn’t matter where you position yourselves against your competitors; all I’m saying is that the same relative positioning ought to be consistent throughout the firm. Since you guys are in the upper quadrant, Sooze should be, too. But that’s for you to decide after I’m done.” She deftly moves to the next slide.
“OK, this is the spreadsheet that you get to play with; it’s the fourth tab on your spreadsheet in here.” She holds up the CD indicating we can play to our hearts’ content.
“A couple of things. KISS – Keep It Simple, Sweethearts. The more exotic you make Sooze’s share of the company, the more time it will take over the years to calculate the split; that will cost you time and money. Try to decide on a percentage for her that’s some multiple of thirds to make today easy. Put in her percentage here.” She points to a cell before turning back to us. “Once you hit ‘Enter,’ the effect will trim each of your percentages down and calculate the dollar amounts for each of you, including Sooze.
“Keep in mind what you’re doing with her base pay when deciding on her partnership amount. If you go less on her pay, you can go more on her share; it will cost you more in the long run. The reverse is also true.
“And lastly, it really doesn’t matter what amount you choose to offer her. She will be the most powerful woman in the K&R industry.” Dee's
“You have succeeded in becoming the preferred negotiators in this niche. When I was digging around to get this data, I had to make some discreet phone calls. Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly was the first competitor mentioned behind that London
She gives us a few moments to digest that piece of information and changes the slide again. It’s titled, OPTIONS OVERVIEW FOR SUZANNE VEGA-ROBERTSON, subtitled Stake and Cost, and it has three columns labeled %, $, and REMAINING. My eyes drop immediately to the third line where Dee
“Glad you asked that, Dino. The way she’ll pay is this, and it works for however much you choose to give her.” The explanatory slide pops up. “She’s worked for you since almost the beginning, right?” Diana gets the nods she is looking for from Terry and me. “You guys got your stake through sweat equity. You forgave some of Max’s buy-in based on his future accomplishments. Sooze should also be rewarded by having her prior hard work count for part of her partnership. If you don’t like the 8% I’ve got here, pick a number; I based my calculation on a 2% per annum for the four years she’s worked for you and reducing it by the bonuses she’s earned over the years. You carry the rest of her buy-in on a 10-year, interest free note that comes out of her enhanced annual bonus.
“That last part should sweeten the deal if she balks at the idea of throwing her lot in with you.” We hadn’t stopped to consider whether Sooze would want to be our fourth partner.
Diana continues smoothly. “If she turns you down flat, this last slide shows you the way to go forward and keep her. Treat her annual bonus calculation as if she’d accepted the partnership, and base her profit sharing plan on the percentage of the firm you offered her. Take another run at making her partner after she cashes that first, enhanced check.”
“Diana, back up to the Options Overview, please.” Terry has shown that same amount of courtesy to every other consultant who has worked for us. Frankly, how he can set aside his love for this woman surprises me; I know how he can compartmentalize his life, but the separation they can exercise, when I’ve seen these two interacting where they are so giddy in love that I’ve wanted to yell, “Get a room,” and now where she is a professional providing information to him, another client, is remarkable.
She backs up the presentation. “These are only a few options. That’s why I gave you the spreadsheet so you can plug in any percentage you want and see the detail.” Diana has not given her opinion on the right number – the one she feels is best – on the OVERVIEW; the percentage options she has given us are listed in ascending order.
“I can’t tell you what’s standard. Sooze will be the only office manager in the industry who has a stake in their company. It’s up to you three how much of your share in the firm you want to give up.”
“Do you have an opinion?” Terry’s backing her into a corner; she may yet get in his face the way she did to that Delta Force guy preparing for Argentina.
She gives him that professional smile. “No, I don’t. I have no data to form one. That’s the nice thing about being a consultant; I can give you all the information, but then it’s up to the three of you. Do remember that you can always go up on Sooze’s percentage; once she’s a partner, you’ll have a very hard time reducing it. Also, remember, there may be an EEO consideration if Sooze’s partnership offer is structured significantly different from what you offered Max, and she refuses the offer.
“Any other questions? Max? Dino? Terry?” She’s fucking amazing. I thought Terry’s name always rolled off her tongue like honey; it didn’t that time. She might well have called him ‘Mr. Thorne’ for the crispness in her tone. None of the affection was in her voice when she used Max’s and my name either; she might have met us this morning for the first time.
“How did we structure Max?” I can’t help testing how thorough she has been.
“Twenty-five per cent future sweat equity. You’re carrying the loan for five years, no interest.” Her staccato delivery surprised me.
“Any other questions?” She looks around the table and begins disconnecting cords from her laptop. “I’ll leave you to your deliberations then. If any of the calculations don’t make sense or you have any more questions, call me. I’ll be glad to come back.” She walked the fine line between calling us ‘Fuckwits’ for not being able to figure out one, simple cell on a spreadsheet and begging us for more contract work that all consultants tread, even me.
“Diana, let me walk you out.” Yep, this is one consultant Terry wouldn’t leave to me to escort out. I know I’ve never walked a visitor out to the parking garage, as I’m sure he will. I also know I’ve never kissed one of our consultants good-bye, as I’m very sure he will.
SOOZE
The firm is doing well, but I don’t like this day long, closed-door meeting that I knew nothing about. I don’t think I’m in danger of being laid off, but stranger things have happened. I know I’ll get a great severance package if it comes to that. Belt tightening at home may be in order. Sarah’s been considering opening a day care center since Dolores no longer needs constant attention; we may have to live on Sarah’s reduced income for a while. Other families have done it before us; I know we’ll be fine no matter what happens though I know I’ll never find another job that suits me as well as TEO.
When Dee
I watch them walk down the hall to the elevators from my window on the world, the glass wall beside my desk. Dee
Since he’s back in the office within a minute of my last observation, he obviously didn’t go to the parking garage with her.
Terry checks his watch as he walks past my now busy hands. “Diana made me live up to my five minute promise to you, Sooze. Oh, and we won’t be adding undercover work to your job duties any time in the near future. You’ll need significant training in that before we loose you on the world.” The sparkle in his eye and cheeky tone let me know that I wasn’t in his bad graces for my clumsy move. “You’ll be out of the dark soon.”
Soon couldn’t come quickly enough.
The conference room has been very quiet for the last two hours since Terry walked back in. The phones haven’t rung; I’ve caught up all the accounting entries.
The door to the conference room opening makes me jump. Terry fills the doorway. “Sooze, send all the lines to voice mail and join us, please.”
Good or bad, I’ll know my fate shortly. All three men are standing and smiling as I enter. It must be good news. Max has my normal morning staff-meeting chair pulled out for me, and he slides it under me.
“Sooze, you’ve been with us since almost the beginning,” Terry begins.
Max takes over, “You assisted greatly when I was kidnapped.”
Dino grins, “You were the cool head when things could have gotten ugly.” So far, they sound like a badly scripted but well-rehearsed Hollywood
If this round robin continues, Terry would be talking next; I turn to him. “Sooze, in a firm this size we can’t afford to make mistakes.” I turn to Max who should have the next line and have to return my attention to Terry. We’re getting to the meat of the matter.
“With you, we have.” Now that stings, but context is everything. “You’ve been so good at your job that we never realised just how much of the load you carry. We’ve overlooked rewarding you for your efforts.”
I haven’t felt overlooked. Every time there was a spontaneous bonus awarded, I got my fair share. Besides the monetary equality, I have as much time off as they do. I never missed one of Dolores’ school events because of work; most times, she had at least one of her three honorary uncles there. If they were in town, they went along with both Sarah and me.
Thanks to these guys and Sarah, I’m one semester away from my Bachelor’s degree in Business. TEO paid for my tuition and fees, provided time off for classes and study, and between Dino and Terry, got me through my algebra and science requirements. Because I’d wanted a well-rounded education, I’d added in liberal arts courses for some of my electives; that entailed taking ancient world history and philosophy. I’d bogged down with ancient philosophy and figured Max would be a good resource. I’ll look back fondly on those conversations with him regarding Stoicism for the rest of my life. Sarah provided the emotional support.
“…so your base rate is now …Sooze, you’re getting a raise.”
I’m already making more than I ever imagined I would when I left South Texas
I knew I didn’t want my mother’s life. She was tired all the time and had to put up with all us rowdy kids and stretching Papa’s meager earnings. There weren’t that many jobs other than working on a farm or being a maid for the snowbirds we saw every year. I couldn’t see myself as a nun. The Army could give me skills, could give me a different life.
Those were the days before the ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy came into effect. My sexual orientation would be a problem for me being accepted into this better life. I’ve known since I hit adolescence that I’m attracted to women. As a Catholic schoolgirl in deep South Texas,
My solution? I didn’t date – not boys, not girls. Looking back on it now, Mama was probably relieved I didn’t go out; we were too poor to support an active social life, and if I wasn’t dating, she didn’t have to worry about me getting pregnant like one of my sisters had. Since I was the youngest, the hand-me-down clothes she remade for me from my sisters were little more than rags sewn together by the time I got them. I was too busy helping Papa in the summers on Mr. Brown’s farm – Jose, Miguel, Roberta, Roberto, Mia, Pablo, and me. All my siblings and I worked for Mr. Brown during the farm’s busy season almost from the time we could toddle down the rows of cotton.
During the school year, I was too focused on my goal of leaving behind the life I knew to consider dating. When I did go out, I was in a group and normally one of my brothers was nearby watching over me. They had to be. Our town was so small the Vega, Rodriguez, Immolito, and Brown families were the school until we rode the bus to the larger town nearby for high school.
I really didn’t think about sex until I’d graduated from boot camp and my MOS training. I’d attacked boot camp like I had my high school studies; I graduated first in my class. I had to study when I went to communications school; unlike the rest of my classmates, I hadn’t used a computer before. Many of them had been ham radio operators and had built their own sets. I started far behind them in knowledge, and yet I finished fifth in my training class after many sleepless nights of breaking down radios and computers to see how they really worked.
My first posting out of school was the first time I’d had what I would call free time. I was still too young to drink legally; I couldn’t go to the bars that always spring up around military bases. Most of them cater to the men, anyway, with strippers and prostitutes frequenting them. I didn’t dare go in for fear of my sexual orientation being recognized. I had come too far to have my Army goal snatched away because of some stupid rumor started about me.
I got really lucky at my first post. Corporal Dan Robertson noticed me and took me under his wing. He showed me around the base and the town; he made me be a better soldier. We spent our off-duty hours together. He became my protection; he became my best friend.
Dan intended to be career military. When he made sergeant, I was the first one he told. He came into the communications shack while I was on duty as proud as he could be to show me his stripes, that is until the Lieutenant caught us and ordered him out. The guys in my unit started kidding me about being a short-timer; I didn’t know what they meant. I still had eight months to go on my enlistment, and I intended to re-up.
The first thing Dan had done with his added pay was buy an engagement ring. For me.
I had some very hard choices to make when he asked me to marry him. I had been running from poverty, South Texas,
Dan had been the first person in my life who had helped me. His proposal rang true to me when he told me we would help each other, lean on each other for the rest of our lives. I knew I could rely on Dan. My tour of duty in the service made me believe I could help him; I knew I’d be a better Army wife than any civilian. I knew the hardships of Army life, and he had taught me how to deal with them. I knew how to clip coupons, find the cheapest places to get the car fixed, work with the base housing authority, and cope with long separations.
I didn’t love Dan when we married the day after my enlistment was up. I admired and trusted him; I think I was more grateful to him than anything else. I do love the child we created together. Dolores has been my introduction to love, to life.
The deepest regret of my life is that Dan didn’t live to see her, at least once. I hear someone talking and force my attention back to the present.
“Earth to Sooze. Try to stay with us here. It’s your future we’re discussing; it’s hard to have a discussion when only Terry is talking.” Dino waves his hands in a crossing motion to attract my attention. Terry sits quietly, contained within himself. Max watches me with concern written over his face.
“Sorry, Guys. As you were saying, Terry. How much of a raise is it?”
“$25,000. It’s a little higher than our consultant recommended, but it is in the spirit of what she suggested,” Terry says with a smirk.
“Thank you.” The response is automatic; it takes a few seconds for the numbers to soak into my brain. Max slides a yellow pad and pen to me; I’d been so anxious to get in here, I’d come without anything. I write my new annual salary at the top, circle it, and look around the table. “Wow. Thank you!
“That’s going to put a lot of pressure on my profit sharing plan.”
Dino as CFO begins talking financials. “Not really. We’re changing your profit sharing plan.” I’ve come to know these men as honorable, no nonsense straight shooters; they’ve always been more than generous with me. They must be seeing some rocky financial times ahead and want to put my earnings up-front rather than rely on at-risk pay.
Terry resumes. “The employee profit sharing plan is being eliminated if you accept our offer. Sooze, we want you to accept a partnership – 1% of the firm.” I swallow hard and blink in astonishment.
“As we are a limited liability partnership, you have nothing to fear for Dolores and her future financial security. Any law suits filed against the company cannot involve you personally.” Max’s words are so like him – looking to protect future generations.
Dino continues with the financial impact, ones I know too well. “The firm will forgive 20% of your buy-in cost.” I’m one step behind him; I’m just beginning to write the dollar amount 1% of the firm represents. I need it as the starting point for the calculations I’ll make in the next few minutes.
“Slow down, slow down. The size of these numbers are a little big for my shocked brain to work with quickly. You’ve had all morning, Hell, probably all month, to look at them.” All three of them laugh at me.
“She’s coming back. She’s fussing at us.” Dino and I have a good relationship much like my brother Roberto and I have; we would think something is wrong with the other if we weren’t picking at each other.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Terry project a spreadsheet on the white board. “Do your calculations, Sooze. We can wait.” Terry and I are much alike in that we have to run the numbers ourselves to make them real to us. When I look up, Terry’s standing at the board. He walks me through my column on the spreadsheet and explains all my options on paying out the rest of my partnership cost.
My own column is on the company spreadsheet. That’s a big jump for a little Hispanic girl from South Texas.
Max is my rock. “It is a large amount of information to consider, Sooze, and of course you will have questions for us. Consider making your partnership with us official.”
I might as well give them my decision now. “As flattering and lucrative as your offer is, I’m sorry, but I have to decline.”
MAXIMUS
This is not the outcome we desired. The shock on my partners’ faces matches my own. None of us had come to this table prepared to negotiate.
I find my voice first. “May I ask why you do not wish to join us? Tell us your concerns.”
Sooze looks down to her hands. When she is ready to speak, we are in control of our emotions again, ready to listen to her, and negotiate her acceptance.
“I think the world of you and this firm.” She reaches for my hand then drops it to pat Terry on the arm before leaning across the table to touch Dino. “You make our clients feel safer in an increasingly unsafe world. You’re their safety net and often their salvation.”
“You’re our ….” Dino begins to interrupt quietly only to face Terry’s upraised hand for silence.
“I run the office. I do it well, but I don’t put my life on the line when there’s trouble. You do.
“My client contact is minimal. You three go out and woo them. It’s their trust in you that has made this company a success. I keep the computers running, and the paper clips stocked.
“I don’t want to hurt Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly, and there’s a part of my life that could do that. As an employee, it doesn’t matter so much. As a partner, I’ll have a higher profile, and a scrutiny of my life could scare off clients. I can’t do that to you.”
Terry’s gentle question causes her unshed tears to fall. “What is it, Sooze? We can make anything work.”
She has three handkerchiefs thrust at her, making her smile. “Sarah and I are lovers …life partners. I’m proud of her love for me and mine for her, but having a lesbian partner could hurt the firm.”
“Hell, Sooze! We’ve figured that out a couple of years ago,” Dino erupts. “Even the most protective parent releases the nanny eventually. When Dolores reached that age and Sarah was still around, I started watching the two of you together. You looked at her the same way Terry looks at Dee
He walks round the table and places his hands on her shoulders. “Every month when you reversed the nanny allowance from the payroll account, I wondered if you thought I wouldn’t notice. Not my place to mention it.”
“I can assure you only your contribution to this company was a part of our discussions. If having no secrets about our love lives were a consideration in making partner, there would be no TEO. I certainly wouldn’t have cast my lot with that sorry arse.” Terry smiles at Dino and continues.
“You don’t think the speculation about Diana and I shacking up isn’t out there? Fuck ‘em. We don’t flaunt our private lives. K&R is a growth business; we can always find more clients. We do good work. The smart clients don’t give a fuck about who we love or who we sleep with as long as they and their loved ones are safe.”
Sooze needs to hear words of encouragement from me as well. “One cannot choose whom we love. Sooze, rejoice that you and Sarah have found it; many do not.” Her tears evaporate on her cheeks, and no more spill from her bright eyes.
SOOZE
Wonders never cease. They know I’m lesbian and don’t give a damn. Okay, in for a penny, in for a pound. It is time they come clean to me. I look around the table and take a deep breath.
“Okay, my girl moment is over, and if you’re absolutely sure of it, I happily accept your offer. I know we have a lot of ground to cover on the legalities, but I have a question for the three of you.
“Isn’t there something you guys need to tell me …just so we’re all on the same page insofar as secrets are concerned?”
Max looks at Terry; Dino looks at Max. Terry looks at Dino then over at Max. Oh, this is going to be fun! Mr. CEO speaks first.
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, Sooze.”
“Oh, I think you are.” The looks shoot back and forth again. Terry finally settles on Max.
“Max, mate, you were the first of us to sort it out. You get to carry this conversation.” Max takes a deep breath and sits forward, elbows on the conference table, fingers tented in front of his chest.
“Are you referring to our heritage?” I smile.
“Yeah, that about gets it.”
“It seems that you already know what we wish to keep hidden. How long have you known?”
“I was pretty sure within a couple of weeks of coming to work for Terry and Dino. When you came on board, any doubts I had were gone. What I’d really like to know is how did it happen?”
Three sets of hands fly in the air.
Dino grins as he speaks. “Not a fucking clue …if you figure it out, let us know. We’ve given up.” Terry nods and speaks as Max sits back in his chair again.
“Sooze, I really wish you’d told us you knew. Each time someone new has come into our midst, we’ve agonised over the event, wondering if their sorting out our reality would send us flying back to our films or out into the ether. But if you’ve known all along ….” Max looks at me as his voice rumbles through the room.
“It is possible you are the catalyst that holds all of us in this time and place.”
DIANA
Now this feels weird. Pulling together a compensation package and partnership calculations for Sooze isn’t the odd thing; it’s having full access to all the raw accounting information and having no parameters for my recommendations. I’m used to getting a very small budget to be spread equitably among a very large employee population in a year where the company did very well and then having to explain the company’s actions.
There are some advantages to working for a small firm. Large companies are so compartmented, and departments are incredibly territorial about data; it can make my individual work very hard to integrate. Max, Dino, and Terry opened the books and said, “Go to it. Make it right.”
I am very clear I am working for TEO in pulling together this information. I may not be paid for it, but I’m treating this like a professional commission. That means Terry gets no advance notice on my progress nor will his own wishes have undue influence on my recommendations. The first time he will see any of my work product will be with Max and Dino in the room.
The very first thing to do is to identify my underlying assumptions – the ones that are so deep that they would influence any decision I make. They would decide whether I rounded decimal places up or down without me even knowing it unless I drag them out and examine them.
The first given is that each of the three current partners would give up equal shares of each of their stakes in the business. No matter the size of her partnership, when it comes to a deadlock among the other three, Sooze will be the deciding vote. That’s a lot of power to hand over to anyone.
Terry, Max, and Dino are rarely in the field together, but when they’re operational, decisions are agreed to quickly. Trees and boulders don’t have many shades of grey to them; they can’t be moved to provide cover. In addition, the guys’ military training kicks in. Respect for the chain of command is paramount; it’s kept soldiers from being killed for thousands of years. It’s the business decisions that cause the guys the most trouble.
They each have such different cultural considerations to take into account. With Terry having the Far East, Max Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, and Dino the Americas,
Then there are the very different personalities of the three. Dino’s the loose cannon, balls to the wall, instinctual, act first, then think like a businessman. Terry approaches business decisions with research and facts before presenting the proposal in the way most likely to gain him agreement to his preferred approach. He can be most effective in boardrooms because he looks and acts like other corporate executives. Max rivals Terry in his studiousness. His pragmatism can make any decision work. The only thing that holds Max back is his formality at informal corporate functions; Terry does the ‘hail, fellow, well met’ jocularity much better than Max.
Dino pushes for TEO corporate decisions; Terry and Max provide the well-researched options. Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly, LLP is a very balanced, formidable firm when they decide on a business strategy.
It’s the decision making process that will make Suzanne Maria Robertson-Vega the most influential person in the K&R industry no matter how small her stake in the company. When the three men deadlock on a three way split decision, Sooze will decide the direction the company will take.
The other assumption I need to address quickly is Sooze’s actual function in the firm. I haven’t been in the office enough to have a good sense of what being TEO’s office manager entails. Being the good consultant that I am, the best way to address that is to wine and dine the principal who engaged me and pump him for information.
I turn from the Excel spreadsheet with TEO’s financial records that have made my eyes sore from reading all day and look over to the sofa where said principal is reading the Straits Times with a very contented Labrador
“Terry, what do you want for dinner tonight?”
TERRY
Diana eases away from me and picks up her pen. “So, Sooze doesn’t have a clue you intend to offer her a partnership?”
I’ve been wondering about the yellow pad sitting beside Diana’s plate all throughout dinner. With her question, we are now in consultant/client discussion. Further exploration of her neck and ears is suspended until her fact-finding mission is over.
“She has to know something’s in the wind as we’ve had some closed door meetings without her, but I believe she’s unaware as to the true nature of our discussions. There’ve been no documents floating about for her to read as you’ve only begun to formulate the proposal.”
“Then I need to pick your brain on what it is exactly that Sooze does for you. I know her as the receptionist and computer guru. What else does she do, and how much discretion does she have?”
“Let’s see, travel agent. She’s very vocal if any one of us doesn’t utilise the firms with whom she’s negotiated contracts. In fact, she’s taken over all purchasing from Dino. The last time the lease was renewed, we were all out of the office. We came back to boxes stacked in the halls, and that got the leasing agent’s attention. Apparently, Sooze is every bit the negotiator we fancy ourselves.”
“Terry, she has to be. She’s a single mom.”
“Let me paint you a better picture. Whilst Downtown office occupancy rates were hovering at 85 to 90 per cent, she negotiated the lease at our current rate.”
“Oh.” Diana continues writing furiously in the dimly lit dining room. Since this has become a business meeting, I rise and add lighting so she can read her notes tomorrow. She won’t be transcribing them tonight; I have other plans for her once this ‘meeting’ is done, and they have nothing to do with work.
“Thank you.”
“She’s outstanding at client contact. Most times, if we are unavailable, our follow-up call is superfluous; Sooze has handled whatever the problem was. Max had a new Spanish client who called several times a day; Sooze volunteered to make pre-emptive contact with him and weaned him off the constant need. Now when we sign a new contract, Sooze has a communications plan in place for each.”
“What else?”
“She’s the banker. Dino and I are the audit for her. None of us has touched the books in months but to look at them.
“She has this ability to draft letters that sound like each of us. By the time I get the mail, she’s attached a response to the lesser matters for my signature. That saves me countless hours of reading and may stave off my need for readers a few more years. I was quite pleased with the new perq for the CEO until one day over lunch Dino told me she’d been doing it for him for years.” We had a bit of a giggle over Dino’s history of stretching the truth, the veracity of his statement, and his ability to prick my ego.
“She’s so good at it some of Max’s clients still don’t know that he went missing.”
“What else?” There’s a deeper question Diana wants answered.
“Ask the question you really want.”
“I won’t ask you something I wouldn’t ask in a more formal setting.”
“You mean where you’re not involved with the client?”
“Precisely. In addition, this isn’t a feasibility study; you want me to tell you how to implement. It’s not my business on why you want to take a particular action.”
“Go ahead and ask.”
“Sooze sounds amazing and worth every penny you pay her. You may need to increase it. But why make her a junior partner?”
Diana misinterprets my sigh. My memories of Dino’s initial reluctance to give up any of his stake in the business had elicited it. “Terry, perhaps you should get someone else to design this.”
“Never. When you took me on, you took on my work as well. You’ve put up with the long hours and the travel schedule. You can help with this. Why should we go outside when we have our own expert in house? When we needed a profiler, we looked to Reags. The precedent is long established, and you’ve the background to work your magic with business processes.”
“A real consultant wouldn’t question what you want to do.”
“You’re bona fide. You’re taking the liberty of satisfying your curiosity because you can; I know you aren’t asking from a personal standpoint. This is the question you’ve wanted to ask on every odd situation you’ve been handed.” She smiles and shrugs at being sussed.
“You have more knowledge of the firm and our special circumstances than we could ever give an outsider. Besides Sooze being a bloody good employee, she’s proven herself exceptionally discreet. She’s stepped in unobtrusively when we’ve had some tense times in the office; she understands our military mindset. Her loyalty is beyond question. Besides her skills, we can’t afford to have her leave. Part and parcel of our business is having our clients trust us. Could they trust us if we had a new voice answer the phone every time they called? Not bloody likely.
“When I first brought up giving Sooze part of the business, Dino accused me of trotting out my white knight for another woman who didn’t need rescuing.” Diana recognizes my sigh from earlier for what it was – acknowledgement of the hard discussions we’d had answering the question she’d asked. Her concern had already been examined thoroughly.
“That had been the closed door discussions. In a firm as small as ours, everybody has to be better than their best. We wouldn’t have been as successful as we’ve been without her.
“Partnership is our way of having her stay with us for the duration. We need her to know that we need her. We’ve each come to that conclusion in our own way and with our own reasons.”
*
Three days following our client/consultant dinner Diana rides to work with me for her presentation. She’s told me nothing about her recommendations, and from her silence on the way in, I’ll not hear anything today until Max and Dino are present.
DINO
Max and Terry are already seated midway down the big glass table, probably better to see the slide show loaded on Dee's
“Good morning, Gentlemen. Ready to get started? The sooner you see my calculations, the sooner you can make your decisions and get Sooze on board.” Dee
She leads us through the basics briefly – the past three years sales, expenses, and profit – before laying into the beef. I’ve seen her in this mode before when she was running the job down in Argentina;
“First, based on these duties,” Dee switches to the next screen showing Sooze’s current job description, “I’d recommend an increase to her base pay of no less than $7,500, and I’d like to see it closer to $10,000.”
“Jesus, Dee! That’s a shitload of money!” Max is silent as he checks off the listed duties on his copy of the presentation and writes below them. Terry’s looking at the screen, and I can see him going through his own picture of what Sooze does for him.
“Yes, it is.” She flips up another slide showing base rates of unnamed competitors’ office managers; there are eight companies listed, some in differing industries. “This one, this one, and this one pay less, but their managers are little more than glorified receptionists. These companies,” Dee backs to the board and points to the top two lines, “pay significantly higher for similar work, but you’ll notice that their benefits packages cost out less than TEO’s. Adding the base and benefits, Sooze is still slightly less. These figures have been adjusted for geographic cost of living differences and salary increase timing, by the way, so you’re dealing with like figures. In the mix of companies, I’ve included firms outside risk management, but all in Dallas,
“I chose Sooze’s increase amount based on where your,” she looked each of us in the eye, “base salaries fall in your competitors’ rankings.”
Terry turns to the next page in his packet and looks at it with a small smile. Max shifts uncomfortably in his seat; it’s up to me to defend our salaries.
“Hell, Dee,
She laughs at me. “Thanks for telling me where you got the numbers. I guessed you hadn’t done much research on it. It really doesn’t matter where you position yourselves against your competitors; all I’m saying is that the same relative positioning ought to be consistent throughout the firm. Since you guys are in the upper quadrant, Sooze should be, too. But that’s for you to decide after I’m done.” She deftly moves to the next slide.
“OK, this is the spreadsheet that you get to play with; it’s the fourth tab on your spreadsheet in here.” She holds up the CD indicating we can play to our hearts’ content.
“A couple of things. KISS – Keep It Simple, Sweethearts. The more exotic you make Sooze’s share of the company, the more time it will take over the years to calculate the split; that will cost you time and money. Try to decide on a percentage for her that’s some multiple of thirds to make today easy. Put in her percentage here.” She points to a cell before turning back to us. “Once you hit ‘Enter,’ the effect will trim each of your percentages down and calculate the dollar amounts for each of you, including Sooze.
“Keep in mind what you’re doing with her base pay when deciding on her partnership amount. If you go less on her pay, you can go more on her share; it will cost you more in the long run. The reverse is also true.
“And lastly, it really doesn’t matter what amount you choose to offer her. She will be the most powerful woman in the K&R industry.” Dee's
“You have succeeded in becoming the preferred negotiators in this niche. When I was digging around to get this data, I had to make some discreet phone calls. Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly was the first competitor mentioned behind that London
She gives us a few moments to digest that piece of information and changes the slide again. It’s titled, OPTIONS OVERVIEW FOR SUZANNE VEGA-ROBERTSON, subtitled Stake and Cost, and it has three columns labeled %, $, and REMAINING. My eyes drop immediately to the third line where Dee
“Glad you asked that, Dino. The way she’ll pay is this, and it works for however much you choose to give her.” The explanatory slide pops up. “She’s worked for you since almost the beginning, right?” Diana gets the nods she is looking for from Terry and me. “You guys got your stake through sweat equity. You forgave some of Max’s buy-in based on his future accomplishments. Sooze should also be rewarded by having her prior hard work count for part of her partnership. If you don’t like the 8% I’ve got here, pick a number; I based my calculation on a 2% per annum for the four years she’s worked for you and reducing it by the bonuses she’s earned over the years. You carry the rest of her buy-in on a 10-year, interest free note that comes out of her enhanced annual bonus.
“That last part should sweeten the deal if she balks at the idea of throwing her lot in with you.” We hadn’t stopped to consider whether Sooze would want to be our fourth partner.
Diana continues smoothly. “If she turns you down flat, this last slide shows you the way to go forward and keep her. Treat her annual bonus calculation as if she’d accepted the partnership, and base her profit sharing plan on the percentage of the firm you offered her. Take another run at making her partner after she cashes that first, enhanced check.”
“Diana, back up to the Options Overview, please.” Terry has shown that same amount of courtesy to every other consultant who has worked for us. Frankly, how he can set aside his love for this woman surprises me; I know how he can compartmentalize his life, but the separation they can exercise, when I’ve seen these two interacting where they are so giddy in love that I’ve wanted to yell, “Get a room,” and now where she is a professional providing information to him, another client, is remarkable.
She backs up the presentation. “These are only a few options. That’s why I gave you the spreadsheet so you can plug in any percentage you want and see the detail.” Diana has not given her opinion on the right number – the one she feels is best – on the OVERVIEW; the percentage options she has given us are listed in ascending order.
“I can’t tell you what’s standard. Sooze will be the only office manager in the industry who has a stake in their company. It’s up to you three how much of your share in the firm you want to give up.”
“Do you have an opinion?” Terry’s backing her into a corner; she may yet get in his face the way she did to that Delta Force guy preparing for Argentina.
She gives him that professional smile. “No, I don’t. I have no data to form one. That’s the nice thing about being a consultant; I can give you all the information, but then it’s up to the three of you. Do remember that you can always go up on Sooze’s percentage; once she’s a partner, you’ll have a very hard time reducing it. Also, remember, there may be an EEO consideration if Sooze’s partnership offer is structured significantly different from what you offered Max, and she refuses the offer.
“Any other questions? Max? Dino? Terry?” She’s fucking amazing. I thought Terry’s name always rolled off her tongue like honey; it didn’t that time. She might well have called him ‘Mr. Thorne’ for the crispness in her tone. None of the affection was in her voice when she used Max’s and my name either; she might have met us this morning for the first time.
“How did we structure Max?” I can’t help testing how thorough she has been.
“Twenty-five per cent future sweat equity. You’re carrying the loan for five years, no interest.” Her staccato delivery surprised me.
“Any other questions?” She looks around the table and begins disconnecting cords from her laptop. “I’ll leave you to your deliberations then. If any of the calculations don’t make sense or you have any more questions, call me. I’ll be glad to come back.” She walked the fine line between calling us ‘Fuckwits’ for not being able to figure out one, simple cell on a spreadsheet and begging us for more contract work that all consultants tread, even me.
“Diana, let me walk you out.” Yep, this is one consultant Terry wouldn’t leave to me to escort out. I know I’ve never walked a visitor out to the parking garage, as I’m sure he will. I also know I’ve never kissed one of our consultants good-bye, as I’m very sure he will.
SOOZE
The firm is doing well, but I don’t like this day long, closed-door meeting that I knew nothing about. I don’t think I’m in danger of being laid off, but stranger things have happened. I know I’ll get a great severance package if it comes to that. Belt tightening at home may be in order. Sarah’s been considering opening a day care center since Dolores no longer needs constant attention; we may have to live on Sarah’s reduced income for a while. Other families have done it before us; I know we’ll be fine no matter what happens though I know I’ll never find another job that suits me as well as TEO.
When Dee
I watch them walk down the hall to the elevators from my window on the world, the glass wall beside my desk. Dee
Since he’s back in the office within a minute of my last observation, he obviously didn’t go to the parking garage with her.
Terry checks his watch as he walks past my now busy hands. “Diana made me live up to my five minute promise to you, Sooze. Oh, and we won’t be adding undercover work to your job duties any time in the near future. You’ll need significant training in that before we loose you on the world.” The sparkle in his eye and cheeky tone let me know that I wasn’t in his bad graces for my clumsy move. “You’ll be out of the dark soon.”
Soon couldn’t come quickly enough.
*
The conference room has been very quiet for the last two hours since Terry walked back in. The phones haven’t rung; I’ve caught up all the accounting entries.
The door to the conference room opening makes me jump. Terry fills the doorway. “Sooze, send all the lines to voice mail and join us, please.”
Good or bad, I’ll know my fate shortly. All three men are standing and smiling as I enter. It must be good news. Max has my normal morning staff-meeting chair pulled out for me, and he slides it under me.
“Sooze, you’ve been with us since almost the beginning,” Terry begins.
Max takes over, “You assisted greatly when I was kidnapped.”
Dino grins, “You were the cool head when things could have gotten ugly.” So far, they sound like a badly scripted but well-rehearsed Hollywood
If this round robin continues, Terry would be talking next; I turn to him. “Sooze, in a firm this size we can’t afford to make mistakes.” I turn to Max who should have the next line and have to return my attention to Terry. We’re getting to the meat of the matter.
“With you, we have.” Now that stings, but context is everything. “You’ve been so good at your job that we never realised just how much of the load you carry. We’ve overlooked rewarding you for your efforts.”
I haven’t felt overlooked. Every time there was a spontaneous bonus awarded, I got my fair share. Besides the monetary equality, I have as much time off as they do. I never missed one of Dolores’ school events because of work; most times, she had at least one of her three honorary uncles there. If they were in town, they went along with both Sarah and me.
Thanks to these guys and Sarah, I’m one semester away from my Bachelor’s degree in Business. TEO paid for my tuition and fees, provided time off for classes and study, and between Dino and Terry, got me through my algebra and science requirements. Because I’d wanted a well-rounded education, I’d added in liberal arts courses for some of my electives; that entailed taking ancient world history and philosophy. I’d bogged down with ancient philosophy and figured Max would be a good resource. I’ll look back fondly on those conversations with him regarding Stoicism for the rest of my life. Sarah provided the emotional support.
“…so your base rate is now …Sooze, you’re getting a raise.”
I’m already making more than I ever imagined I would when I left South Texas
I knew I didn’t want my mother’s life. She was tired all the time and had to put up with all us rowdy kids and stretching Papa’s meager earnings. There weren’t that many jobs other than working on a farm or being a maid for the snowbirds we saw every year. I couldn’t see myself as a nun. The Army could give me skills, could give me a different life.
Those were the days before the ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy came into effect. My sexual orientation would be a problem for me being accepted into this better life. I’ve known since I hit adolescence that I’m attracted to women. As a Catholic schoolgirl in deep South Texas,
My solution? I didn’t date – not boys, not girls. Looking back on it now, Mama was probably relieved I didn’t go out; we were too poor to support an active social life, and if I wasn’t dating, she didn’t have to worry about me getting pregnant like one of my sisters had. Since I was the youngest, the hand-me-down clothes she remade for me from my sisters were little more than rags sewn together by the time I got them. I was too busy helping Papa in the summers on Mr. Brown’s farm – Jose, Miguel, Roberta, Roberto, Mia, Pablo, and me. All my siblings and I worked for Mr. Brown during the farm’s busy season almost from the time we could toddle down the rows of cotton.
During the school year, I was too focused on my goal of leaving behind the life I knew to consider dating. When I did go out, I was in a group and normally one of my brothers was nearby watching over me. They had to be. Our town was so small the Vega, Rodriguez, Immolito, and Brown families were the school until we rode the bus to the larger town nearby for high school.
I really didn’t think about sex until I’d graduated from boot camp and my MOS training. I’d attacked boot camp like I had my high school studies; I graduated first in my class. I had to study when I went to communications school; unlike the rest of my classmates, I hadn’t used a computer before. Many of them had been ham radio operators and had built their own sets. I started far behind them in knowledge, and yet I finished fifth in my training class after many sleepless nights of breaking down radios and computers to see how they really worked.
My first posting out of school was the first time I’d had what I would call free time. I was still too young to drink legally; I couldn’t go to the bars that always spring up around military bases. Most of them cater to the men, anyway, with strippers and prostitutes frequenting them. I didn’t dare go in for fear of my sexual orientation being recognized. I had come too far to have my Army goal snatched away because of some stupid rumor started about me.
I got really lucky at my first post. Corporal Dan Robertson noticed me and took me under his wing. He showed me around the base and the town; he made me be a better soldier. We spent our off-duty hours together. He became my protection; he became my best friend.
Dan intended to be career military. When he made sergeant, I was the first one he told. He came into the communications shack while I was on duty as proud as he could be to show me his stripes, that is until the Lieutenant caught us and ordered him out. The guys in my unit started kidding me about being a short-timer; I didn’t know what they meant. I still had eight months to go on my enlistment, and I intended to re-up.
The first thing Dan had done with his added pay was buy an engagement ring. For me.
I had some very hard choices to make when he asked me to marry him. I had been running from poverty, South Texas,
Dan had been the first person in my life who had helped me. His proposal rang true to me when he told me we would help each other, lean on each other for the rest of our lives. I knew I could rely on Dan. My tour of duty in the service made me believe I could help him; I knew I’d be a better Army wife than any civilian. I knew the hardships of Army life, and he had taught me how to deal with them. I knew how to clip coupons, find the cheapest places to get the car fixed, work with the base housing authority, and cope with long separations.
I didn’t love Dan when we married the day after my enlistment was up. I admired and trusted him; I think I was more grateful to him than anything else. I do love the child we created together. Dolores has been my introduction to love, to life.
The deepest regret of my life is that Dan didn’t live to see her, at least once. I hear someone talking and force my attention back to the present.
“Earth to Sooze. Try to stay with us here. It’s your future we’re discussing; it’s hard to have a discussion when only Terry is talking.” Dino waves his hands in a crossing motion to attract my attention. Terry sits quietly, contained within himself. Max watches me with concern written over his face.
“Sorry, Guys. As you were saying, Terry. How much of a raise is it?”
“$25,000. It’s a little higher than our consultant recommended, but it is in the spirit of what she suggested,” Terry says with a smirk.
“Thank you.” The response is automatic; it takes a few seconds for the numbers to soak into my brain. Max slides a yellow pad and pen to me; I’d been so anxious to get in here, I’d come without anything. I write my new annual salary at the top, circle it, and look around the table. “Wow. Thank you!
“That’s going to put a lot of pressure on my profit sharing plan.”
Dino as CFO begins talking financials. “Not really. We’re changing your profit sharing plan.” I’ve come to know these men as honorable, no nonsense straight shooters; they’ve always been more than generous with me. They must be seeing some rocky financial times ahead and want to put my earnings up-front rather than rely on at-risk pay.
Terry resumes. “The employee profit sharing plan is being eliminated if you accept our offer. Sooze, we want you to accept a partnership – 1% of the firm.” I swallow hard and blink in astonishment.
“As we are a limited liability partnership, you have nothing to fear for Dolores and her future financial security. Any law suits filed against the company cannot involve you personally.” Max’s words are so like him – looking to protect future generations.
Dino continues with the financial impact, ones I know too well. “The firm will forgive 20% of your buy-in cost.” I’m one step behind him; I’m just beginning to write the dollar amount 1% of the firm represents. I need it as the starting point for the calculations I’ll make in the next few minutes.
“Slow down, slow down. The size of these numbers are a little big for my shocked brain to work with quickly. You’ve had all morning, Hell, probably all month, to look at them.” All three of them laugh at me.
“She’s coming back. She’s fussing at us.” Dino and I have a good relationship much like my brother Roberto and I have; we would think something is wrong with the other if we weren’t picking at each other.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Terry project a spreadsheet on the white board. “Do your calculations, Sooze. We can wait.” Terry and I are much alike in that we have to run the numbers ourselves to make them real to us. When I look up, Terry’s standing at the board. He walks me through my column on the spreadsheet and explains all my options on paying out the rest of my partnership cost.
My own column is on the company spreadsheet. That’s a big jump for a little Hispanic girl from South Texas.
Max is my rock. “It is a large amount of information to consider, Sooze, and of course you will have questions for us. Consider making your partnership with us official.”
I might as well give them my decision now. “As flattering and lucrative as your offer is, I’m sorry, but I have to decline.”
MAXIMUS
This is not the outcome we desired. The shock on my partners’ faces matches my own. None of us had come to this table prepared to negotiate.
I find my voice first. “May I ask why you do not wish to join us? Tell us your concerns.”
Sooze looks down to her hands. When she is ready to speak, we are in control of our emotions again, ready to listen to her, and negotiate her acceptance.
“I think the world of you and this firm.” She reaches for my hand then drops it to pat Terry on the arm before leaning across the table to touch Dino. “You make our clients feel safer in an increasingly unsafe world. You’re their safety net and often their salvation.”
“You’re our ….” Dino begins to interrupt quietly only to face Terry’s upraised hand for silence.
“I run the office. I do it well, but I don’t put my life on the line when there’s trouble. You do.
“My client contact is minimal. You three go out and woo them. It’s their trust in you that has made this company a success. I keep the computers running, and the paper clips stocked.
“I don’t want to hurt Thorne, Espan, and O’Reilly, and there’s a part of my life that could do that. As an employee, it doesn’t matter so much. As a partner, I’ll have a higher profile, and a scrutiny of my life could scare off clients. I can’t do that to you.”
Terry’s gentle question causes her unshed tears to fall. “What is it, Sooze? We can make anything work.”
She has three handkerchiefs thrust at her, making her smile. “Sarah and I are lovers …life partners. I’m proud of her love for me and mine for her, but having a lesbian partner could hurt the firm.”
“Hell, Sooze! We’ve figured that out a couple of years ago,” Dino erupts. “Even the most protective parent releases the nanny eventually. When Dolores reached that age and Sarah was still around, I started watching the two of you together. You looked at her the same way Terry looks at Dee
He walks round the table and places his hands on her shoulders. “Every month when you reversed the nanny allowance from the payroll account, I wondered if you thought I wouldn’t notice. Not my place to mention it.”
“I can assure you only your contribution to this company was a part of our discussions. If having no secrets about our love lives were a consideration in making partner, there would be no TEO. I certainly wouldn’t have cast my lot with that sorry arse.” Terry smiles at Dino and continues.
“You don’t think the speculation about Diana and I shacking up isn’t out there? Fuck ‘em. We don’t flaunt our private lives. K&R is a growth business; we can always find more clients. We do good work. The smart clients don’t give a fuck about who we love or who we sleep with as long as they and their loved ones are safe.”
Sooze needs to hear words of encouragement from me as well. “One cannot choose whom we love. Sooze, rejoice that you and Sarah have found it; many do not.” Her tears evaporate on her cheeks, and no more spill from her bright eyes.
SOOZE
Wonders never cease. They know I’m lesbian and don’t give a damn. Okay, in for a penny, in for a pound. It is time they come clean to me. I look around the table and take a deep breath.
“Okay, my girl moment is over, and if you’re absolutely sure of it, I happily accept your offer. I know we have a lot of ground to cover on the legalities, but I have a question for the three of you.
“Isn’t there something you guys need to tell me …just so we’re all on the same page insofar as secrets are concerned?”
Max looks at Terry; Dino looks at Max. Terry looks at Dino then over at Max. Oh, this is going to be fun! Mr. CEO speaks first.
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, Sooze.”
“Oh, I think you are.” The looks shoot back and forth again. Terry finally settles on Max.
“Max, mate, you were the first of us to sort it out. You get to carry this conversation.” Max takes a deep breath and sits forward, elbows on the conference table, fingers tented in front of his chest.
“Are you referring to our heritage?” I smile.
“Yeah, that about gets it.”
“It seems that you already know what we wish to keep hidden. How long have you known?”
“I was pretty sure within a couple of weeks of coming to work for Terry and Dino. When you came on board, any doubts I had were gone. What I’d really like to know is how did it happen?”
Three sets of hands fly in the air.
Dino grins as he speaks. “Not a fucking clue …if you figure it out, let us know. We’ve given up.” Terry nods and speaks as Max sits back in his chair again.
“Sooze, I really wish you’d told us you knew. Each time someone new has come into our midst, we’ve agonised over the event, wondering if their sorting out our reality would send us flying back to our films or out into the ether. But if you’ve known all along ….” Max looks at me as his voice rumbles through the room.
“It is possible you are the catalyst that holds all of us in this time and place.”