Echoes
in Eternity
One Moment in Time - Part One
by
Reagan Kavanagh
Author's Notes: This mini arc moves between flashback and current time (i.e., ‘current’ in this instance being 186 AD), with a final projection forward to circa 205 AD. Your indulgence in following the rapid time shifts and transitions is appreciated.
MAXIMUS
I walked ahead of the guard on the return to my cell, scarcely hearing his coarse words. Cassandra. Her very name held import. I recalled the studies of my youth and my Greek tutor schooling me in the classics of his country. Cassandra. The seeress. Cassandra. Daughter of Priam, King of Troy, and Hecuba, she was given to Agamemnon as a prize of war and later cursed by Apollo. She had been blessed with the gift of prophecy, yet when she spurned Apollo’s love, he cursed her, permitting her to keep her gift but decreeing that no one would ever again heed her warnings. From that day forward, she was considered mad.
Cassandra. She had come to me again this day after having first come following my last fight. On that first occasion she had brought me food and cleansing oil. On this day, she again brought food, more oil, and a clean tunica. She had also brought much more. She gave the comfort of her body to a man condemned, one reviled and considered untouchable by all save other slaves.
More than the comfort of her body, she had freely given me all that she possessed. She had gifted me with her virginity. I had taken her roughly with no thought that our joining might cause her pain; she was married. It had not entered my mind that she could still be intact, and I had looked at her maiden’s blood in horror. I had interrogated her harshly, suspecting …what, I do not know; she did not seem the sort of woman to be coerced into trickery by Commodus, but I had learnt long since that enemies come in many forms. In the end I was convinced of her innocence, finally believing that she had given herself to me for the reasons she stated rather than having been sent by my nemesis to dishonour me. When she left me this day, I was as besotted as I had been with the housemaid of a neighbour when I was but a callow youth.
CASSANDRA
Maximus. The crowds shouted his name. It was written on the walls of the great arena. Young boys in the streets played at games in which they were Maximus, the greatest gladiatorRome
I married young as do most Roman girls, and I was wed to a much older man. Servius was a good man; he was kind to me. He gave me all that I needed or wanted and did so willingly. Everything save that one, most important thing a man has to offer, his body and the life that flows from it. By the time I was old enough for him to take me to his bed he was no longer capable of performing his duty as a man. He tried …oh, how he tried, though he never caused me pain. I am unsure as to which of us was more frustrated by his efforts and his lack. He wished to possess me as every man wishes to possess his wife. I wanted to do my duty and longed desperately for a child to hold at my breast. After a month of futile effort, he summoned to me to the library one evening and spoke, his face full of sorrow.
“Cassandra, I cannot be a husband to you. If it is your wish to seek comfort elsewhere, I will not gainsay you. Should you become with child, I will accept it as my own and raise it with love and pride. All I ask is your discretion. I beg you not disgrace me amongst my peers; do not make me a mockery. Keep your liaisons private. I will ask no questions of you, nor will I ever punish you for following the demands of your body or your heart.” He was a good man; more importantly, we respected each other.
“Husband, I cannot betray your care. You have been an exemplary husband, and I have no complaint. I will seek no other man to fill my bed. But the servants …will they not speak of our not sharing a bed chamber?” He had told me to return to my own bedchamber, after having shared his unsuccessfully. We never again shared a bed.
“They will ask no questions, and they will say nothing. They are loyal, as are you, my Wife; they will not speak of what they suspect outside this house.” And that was that. I returned to my own quarters and slept alone for long, empty years. I envied my friends as they fell pregnant and were brought to childbirth. Some of them did not survive their ordeal; childbirth was dangerous. Many women and children did not accomplish it successfully, yet it was a risk I would have willingly borne. I rejoiced with those who survived and held their babes, returning them to their mothers’ arms to suckle at full breasts, knowing I would never have that joy for myself. I struggled against bitterness, against the loss of what I might have had, yet remained faithful to my husband until that one bright day.
Poppaea and Claudia invited me to attend the games with them. The young emperor, Commodus, had decreed 150 days of games in honour of his late father, Marcus Aurelius. I had no wish to go as I abhor violence and said as much. They chided me, saying that to refuse was an insult to the new emperor. With reluctance, I acquiesced and accompanied them the following day.
I was sickened by the cruelty. The public executions were first, and I kept my eyes cast down until it was done, and the bodies of the condemned dragged from the arena. There was a break in the activities, and the three of us left our seats and went into the area of the food stalls, having lunch before returning to our place in the stands. The next spectacle was that of tying those of religious sects deemed dangerous to the Empire to wooden stakes and then loosing wild beasts upon them …lions, tigers, other great cats I had never before observed. On seeing a lioness slowly approach a child tethered with her father, I rose and stumbled out of the stands and into the corridors below, fearing I would vomit my lunch before reaching a safe place to do so. I remained below until the cheering ceased, again giving time for the arena to be cleared.
When I returned, the arena floor was empty, and the crowd was chanting as I heard the announcer say thatRome
“Maximus! Maximus! Maximus! Maximus!” Two men walked from one gate to the centre of the arena and waited until a second gate opened and a solitary man strode into view. Poppaea nudged me.
“That’s him! The one I told you about …isn’t he glorious?”
In truth, I could not determine if he was ‘glorious,’ as I was too far away to see his features. He was taller than most men, and his body – what I could see of it – was hard with muscle. His cuirass covered his chest, but his arms and legs were clearly visible from where I sat in the stands. I could see the muscles strain in his arms as he wielded his sword; the raw power in them was almost frightening. His legs were solid and heavily muscled. Though I had never known a man’s embrace, I could almost feel their strength as I might if he held me close to his body, and I blushed at the wickedness of my thoughts. His hair was short, and he wore a neatly trimmed beard. I could not visualise his face, other than to tell that – at least from a distance - he was likely what I would consider a handsome man. I found myself suddenly longing to see him closer and to note the colour of his eyes and the shape of his mouth. I wanted to see his hands, to observe him closely, and I chided myself for my foolishness.
He defeated the men set against him in only minutes then strode from the arena as if disgusted by the blood lust of the crowd. When Poppaea and Claudia made to leave, I said I had shopping, and I would make my way home alone. They nodded and left me. As soon as they were out of sight, I made my way back inside the arena and to the market stalls, making my purchases quickly, then asking one of the ever present soldiers the way to the visiting area for gladiators. He smirked as he replied.
“You another of the lot lusting after Maximus? You’re wasting your time, my Lady. He spurns all who seek him.” Still, he pointed me in the appropriate direction, and I made my way below the arena’s floor but was stopped by another guard asking my business.
“I wish to see the gladiator …Maximus. I have food for his comfort.” He looked me up and down in the manner of one appraising a prostitute before offering his coin.
“I’ll take you to the visitors’ cells and summon him. He must come to you, but don’t expect him to accommodate you. He’s sent every woman who lusts for him away without a second glance.” He turned, and I followed him meekly down the corridor to a cell; he motioned me inside, telling me to wait when he departed. I looked round the cell …a bed of stone hewn from the wall, a small table, sconces with candles on the wall from which flames flickered bravely against the constant gloom; chains hung suspended from rings driven deep into the stone walls of the cell. I felt sick, as if I would vomit. When they brought him here they would tether him like a ravening beast to those chains. To them he was no better than an animal, a prized bull on display for anyone wishing to purchase an hour of his time. I started to leave, to run away from this place and spare him further humiliation but heard the guard returning with Maximus.
“Move along Spaniard …you don’t want to keep a lady waiting.” Moments later he preceded the guard into the cell and went to stand with his back to the wall, calmly waiting for the guard to affix the chains to the iron manacles round his wrists.
MAXIMUS
The guard left us, closing the door, and I looked at the woman standing in the shadows, speaking tiredly.
“I will not serve you, Lady, any more than I have others who have bought me for an hour in days past. You have wasted both your money and your time.” Her soft reply surprised me. She said she had no wish to purchase my body, rather she brought food for me and oil with which to cleanse myself. She finally convinced me she was there of her own accord and had not been sent by Commodus. I learnt that she, too, was Spanish by birth, though her hair and skin were fair and her eyes lighter than those of us fromSouthern Spain
where I was born and
grew to young manhood. She
was blonde,
and her eyes were a curious shade of dark amber.
I asked her name and was surprised to find it
Greek …Cassandra, the daughter of a king and a reputed witch. She bade me eat, and at
last I did though
sparingly.
When I had finished eating, she brought forth the bottle of oil from her basket, along with a strigil. She offered to clean my back for me as it was clear I could not reach to do so, even without the chains binding me to the wall. I pulled my tunica over my head and turned my back to her, allowing the garment to lie on the chains. I felt the warmth and smoothness of her hands as she quickly rubbed the cleansing oil into my skin and whisked it away with her strigil. Once done, she said she would leave the oil for me that I might complete the process myself at a later time.
Cassandra returned a week later, seeking me out following my fight on that day. She again brought food and cleansing oil and to my amazement, a clean tunica. She apologised for not having the foresight to bring clean clothing on that first occasion; I surmised her decision to visit me on that day had been an impulse. On that first day, I had been too surprised at her apparent lack of lust to pay attention to her as a woman. She brought me comfort and human understanding, the empathy only one who suffers can truly offer another. I did not know the cause of her pain on that occasion but knew she suffered. When she came on this day, I looked at her with new eyes; on this day, I saw her as a woman and was stunned at the reality that I did so, that my body betrayed my Stoic training and responded to her as a man.
She was tall for a woman …the top of her head was only a few inches below my own height. Her hair was light, a golden colour akin to that of wheat ripening in the sun, and I longed to run my fingers through it as I had done when walking through my fields at harvest time. Her eyes were a curious shade, not quite brown, but not quite golden …they put me in mind of a piece of dark amber. Her skin was pale with only the slightest flush of colour on her cheeks; her lips were a natural shade of coral, and it was clear she eschewed the cosmetics so favoured by most women of her class.
She had entreated the guard not to tether me to the wall this day; for some reason, he had complied. Had he not, the events of that day would not have been possible. When she moved behind me to again clean my back, I caught her scent …it was clean and fresh, without the often cloying sweetness of perfumed oils most Roman women seem to use when dressing their hair. Her hair was fastened loosely with a clip at the nape of her neck, tumbling down her back in a profusion of waves almost to her waist. Beneath the odour of freshness was the unmistakable scent of a woman, that earthy pungency that attracts men to women in the same manner a stallion is drawn to a mare in heat. I gasped when her hand touched my skin, a fire shooting through me straight to my loins, and I was appalled to find myself suddenly erect, straining against the cloth of my subligar. She felt the change in me and took her hand from my back, placing it lightly on my shoulder, her voice soft when she spoke.
Her reassurance that my physical response to her touch had not distressed her seemed to make matters worse. She was there to offer me comfort, and my desire made me want to throw her onto the stones of the floor and take her like a common whore. I drew a deep breath before resting my head on the stone wall and allowed her to resume her task. When she had done, she said that she would avert her eyes whilst I finished the task on the front of my body. Before I could steel myself to cleanse my cock and spill my seed on the floor, I felt her hand take mine as she spoke. Her voice was low, with no hint of sympathy …all I could hear was compassion from another who suffered.
“It has been too long for you, Maximus. I neither can nor do I wish to take the place of your Lady, but do not spill your essence on the stones of the floor. Take the comfort I offer and remember the joy you felt in her.”
I turned to look at her and saw the flush of womanly modesty on her face. Ignoring her embarrassment, she had removed her clothing and placed my soiled tunica on the stone cot for comfort between warm flesh and cold stone. In that moment, my rational thought deserted me, and my concentration went to my cock. I pulled her to me, my prick erect and pulsing, hard against the woman softness of her belly. I crushed her mouth under mine, my tongue demanding entry as my hands roamed her body. The muscles of her back were strong and firm, as if she engaged in some sort of physical activity. Her breasts were high and firm, bursting with life, and I felt their pressure first against my chest, then under my hands. Their firmness spoke of a young woman, once who had not yet suckled a child. My hands resumed their journey, sweeping over the slope of her hips, to the juncture of her thighs before moving between them.
My fingers caressed her folds before separating them, and I inserted one finger inside her. I felt her jump slightly though she did not pull away. I backed her toward the stone cot and moved her onto her back, following her as my hands continued their exploration and my lips followed. I stopped at her mons, stroking the dark blonde curls before moving her knees apart and knelt between them. I looked up at her face; she turned away from me toward the wall, almost as if in shame for what she was about to do. My lips followed my fingers, and my tongue reached for her bud. Her odour enveloped me, the musk emitted by all female animals in heat surrounding me like a welcome cloud. I tasted her, and she trembled. I applied myself, and within moments she shuddered her release. I moved over her, sweeping my cock through her wetness before plunging into her in the manner men are accustomed to take a willing woman.
I felt her momentary resistance, which I took to be the common vinegar soaked sponge utilised to prevent conception, before thrusting again and seating myself fully inside her. Her cry brought me out of my lust. I looked into her eyes. They were wide with shock, and her brow furrowed with what I could only interpret as pain. I moved once, and she bit her lip as I realised her slickness was more than I had met in the past …unless with a virgin. I leant on one hand. Moving the other to the juncture of our bodies, I swept my fingers through the wetness, then brought my hand to my face. Blood. She wore a marriage ring, but she was clearly intact or had been until a few moments earlier. I made to withdraw from her, but her arms round me and her hands on my back held me to her.
CASSANDRA
When he moved his face between my up drawn and now outwardly spread legs, I thought to die of embarrassment. I had experienced this act with my husband, but he had been clumsy and fearful of hurting me. He did this after failing in the intended marriage act, saying that it would bring me pleasure. It did not. I was too young, only 15 years of age, and my shame at his looking at my most intimate parts was more than I could bear. I had been unable to relax or to take any pleasure from his efforts. I had prayed he would stop so that I might leave his bed and clothe myself and hide my body from his eyes.
When Maximus made to engage in the same act, I was embarrassed at what I was doing – at the betrayal of my husband – but his ministrations quickly brought me a pleasure I had never dreamt existed. Only moments after he applied his tongue to me, I shuddered into an exquisite release. He raised himself from my pubis and swept his cock through my wetness before attempting to enter me. His first thrust was unsuccessful; he withdrew and plunged hard into me, tearing asunder that piece of flesh that had marked my virginity. To my horror, I cried out in pain. He stopped immediately, inserting one hand between my legs and stroking his fingers through our now combined moisture, then brought that hand up to his face. The look of shock on his face changed quickly to dismay, and he made to remove himself from my body. I held him tightly, speaking rapidly, explaining that I had never been truly wife to my husband and begging him to introduce me to the pleasures of which my friends spoke. He said he would try not to cause me further pain and set to his mission.
The pain passed after a few moments, and I could feel his hardness moving ever more swiftly in and out of me, culminating minutes later with his cry and a shudder as he collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily as if he had run a hard race. I have been told that with a man of sufficient size and girth, the act is extremely pleasurable, though on that day I did not experience the feelings of which my friends have spoken. In truth, I did not expect it, as I was also aware that it is painful for women the first time. It was only moments after Maximus had finished when the guard appeared at the door of the cell and peered in. I turned toward the wall as Maximus sat up and shielded me with his body. The anger in his voice was apparent to anyone within earshot, though whether that anger was directed only at the guard or at me as well, I did not know.
“Leave us! The Lady is indisposed; I will call you when she is ready to leave.”
Maximus rose and dressed hastily, turned away from me as I clothed myself. I retied my subligar, pulling it tightly between my legs to catch the blood I could feel trickling there, hoping it would stop the stain from reaching my outer clothing before I could reach home. I would burn the subligar during the night; I would not have my maidservant find it and know that I had betrayed my vows to my husband. When I had dressed, I turned to find him looking at me, his face now cold and closed. My heart sank within me.
He asked if I was truly married or if I had lied. I knew he had returned to his suspicions of the previous week and again suspected me of having been sent by Commodus to dishonour him, to play him for a fool. I told him the truth of my marriage. I said that our friends thought me to be a barren wife as I had born no child in all the years of our marriage, and that my husband’s friends had often urged him to put me aside. I told him of Servius’ words on the last night I had shared his bed and our subsequent discussion in the library. I brushed away my tears as I told him that I wanted just once before dying to know what it was like to have a man love my body rather than only my mind and companionship. I asked that he forgive me and said I would trouble him no more. I picked up his soiled and now bloody tunica, saying that I would wash and mend it and have my maidservant return it to him, that I would trouble him no more. I heard the guard returning, his steps echoing loudly on the stone floor of the corridor, and I turned to go. Maximus response was the last I had expected.
MAXIMUS
I asked that she return, telling her we need not couple again if she preferred not but begged she grace me with her companionship. I knew that my days were few. If Commodus could not find a way to dispatch me in the arena, he would have me poisoned. There were more than enough other lanistae whose pockets were suffering at my wins for Proximo’s financial gain. Commodus could easily blame one of them, and one less gladiatore would not be missed.
Cassandra had given me hope in those last days of my life. We shared a homeland and could speak of that. She had travelled with her husband, and we could speak of places we had seen, the strange peoples and customs unknown toRome
After that day, Cassandra came to my cell three and sometimes four days a week. Proximo wanted his gladiators well rested, lest we die too early and cost him money. Two weeks after the day Cassandra and I consummated our union, he came to my cell as she was leaving. He stood aside to let her pass, bowing his head in respect to a woman who was clearly a lady and well above his own station. Once her footsteps had faded down the corridor he turned back to me and sat heavily on the stone cot before speaking.
“She is the one of whom the guards speak?” It was pointless to deny the fact or pretend I did not know what he meant. I nodded once.
“Do you care for her as you would a good woman outside this hell hole?” I nodded again. He stood before speaking again. “Gather whatever you have here that you wish to have with you. I am moving you to the lyceum. There is much jealously among my comrades, and I will not have you poisoned here like a wild dog. I will leave word for the woman to seek out Septus; he will direct her to the lyceum when next she comes to visit you.” I left the great arena that day, returning only for my scheduled fights. Two days later,Cicero
brought Cassandra
to me at Proximo’s lyceum; it was obvious
that Septus had observed Cicero
Proximo was a true mercenary. He was avaricious, cold, brutal on occasion, yet he did have the ability to care for some people. For whatever reason, he seemed cautious of my welfare. I suppose it was due to my monetary value to him; he once told me I was making him rich beyond his wildest dreams. Upon our arrival at the lyceum following his removal of me from the coliseum cells, he asked if I loved ‘the woman.’ I did not wish to answer him, but it is unlike me to prevaricate when asked a direct question.
“Yes …I have come to love her. She has brought me hope in a world gone dark. She has given me back my soul when I thought it forever lost.” He gave me a bitter smile before speaking again.
“Hope? Hope for what, Spaniard? Escape? Do you think her husband will buy your freedom if she bids him?” I smiled, one as bitter as his own.
“Her husband could not afford your price even were she to grovel at his feet. She has brought hope to my soul. She has made me feel alive, when I believed myself dead to all emotion save hatred.” He turned away from me. “Return to your cell, Spaniard. I have much work to do this night.” The following morning he watched me as I practised with Hakken, barking his order to me as I strode from the arena.
“Bathe yourself, then come to my library.” I did as he commanded, permitting a slave – and that was laughable, for how is it that one slave is commanded to attend another – in the tepidarium to cleanse me first with oil and strigil before moving to the pool for a time, then on to the caldarium and at last the frigidarium before clothing myself and walking to the library. Proximo was waiting for me when I knocked on the door.
“I have verified the truth of this woman’s …this Cassandra’s …story. You are aware that her husband is quite old?”
“She has told me of her marriage and the difference in their ages.”
“What if you get her with child? Her husband is too old now to be its father. He could scorn her, divorce her, cast her out, or even beat her to death if she falls pregnant. Have you considered that? Of course the story – when it gets round – would do your reputation no harm. You’d have the women flocking to the great arena more than you do now, and they’d be tearing down the gates here to get at you. Still, have you considered her welfare in any of this, or are you thinking with your prick?” I had held my breath whilst he spoke but now answered him in anger.
“My enslavement has not made me dull-witted, Proximo. Of course I have considered her plight should she fall pregnant. What you do not know is that her husband has never been a husband to her. He attempted to take his right when she was old enough to take to his bed and failed. He gave her permission then to take a lover should she wish; his only request was that she use discretion and not shame him. He has told her that if she fell pregnant, he would accept the child as his own and raise it accordingly.” I stopped, taking a deep breath before continuing. “She was virgin when I took her, Proximo. She has given me all that a woman can give a man. She gave it willingly, and yes, I say it again …I do love her. As she loves me.” He was unprepared for my revelation and caught his breath sharply on learning she had been intact. He turned away from me for a time and then faced me again.
“Come with me, Maximus.” Until that moment he had called me Spaniard. Was his use of my name implication he now regarded me as a man, rather than merely his chattel? I followed him out of the office and through the house, outside, and on to a small building behind the barracks housing the gladiatoris. He worked a key from his ring, removing it from the iron circle and gave it to me. “Open the door.” I did as he asked, and he motioned me inside, taking the torch from the sconce on the wall outside and moving inside, the flame illuminating the interior. There was a table and two chairs, a desk and to one side behind a curtain, a large bed.
“When she comes to you, bring her here. I do not want her in the barracks where all can see and hear you. She may be an unfaithful wife, but she is a freedwoman and appears to be a lady of good conscience. I want no gossip about her amongst the men, nor will I have her dishonoured for all to see. This will afford her privacy.” He turned and left me there with the key in my hand, my mouth fallen open in shock.
CASSANDRA
After my first two visits to him, it had been arranged that his former aide, Cicero, would come to my home on those days that he had time not required to be spent in training. We arranged for me to come again the following day – he was not scheduled to fight – andCicero Cicero
Two weeks after my second visit, I had made my way alone and unannounced to the bowels of the arena, asking the guard if I might see Maximus. When he directed me to an older guard – Septus – I felt my gut clench, fearing that Maximus had fallen ill, or worse. I sought out the man and asked of Maximus. He smiled.
“Come with me, my Lady.” I followed him down yet another dim corridor and into a small room. He offered me watered wine, directed me to sit and said that he would return shortly before leaving me alone. I waited for what seemed an interminable time and had risen with the intention of leaving when I heard footsteps coming toward the room. Septus entered, followed byCicero Rome Cicero
“My Lady. General Maximus asks that I bring you to him. He no longer resides here, as Proximo fears for his safety in this setting. The General is at Proximo’s lyceum and would have me bring you to him there if you agree.” I did not know how to reply, so simply nodded my head. “Pull your cloak over your hair and close round your face, my Lady. The General instructs that your anonymity is to be preserved at all costs.” My cloak had fallen round my shoulders when I sat earlier, and now I pulled it high round my neck and the hood over my hair, pulling the folds about my face so that it would be difficult to identify me.Cicero
“You have seen nothing and you know nothing. If you speak of this, I will cut off your prick and shove it down your throat before I kill you.” Septus smiled.
“I have seen no lady in this place and would not speak of her even had I done so.”Cicero
“Come with me, my Lady. I will take you to the General.” That was the last time I entered the grim desperation beneath the floor of the great arena. I followedCicero Cicero
“He practised earlier in the day then went to the baths. He will be ready to receive you now.” He took my arm, leading me away from the courtyard and toward the large villa, rounded the villa and took me to a small house set some distance behind the villa and barracks. He stopped and knocked at the door, standing aside. The door opened, and Maximus smiled at me.
“General, I have brought the Lady Cassandra, as you asked.”
“I thank you, Cicero. I will find you when she is ready to leave.”Cicero
“Sit, Cassandra. There is much we must discuss.” I sat and he poured water from a pitcher on the table into two cups, handing me one as he sat in from of me. “Proximo removed me from the arena. It seems there are those who grow poorer from my efforts as Proximo grows steadily richer. He feared for my safety and has installed me here. He is aware of our relationship …he wishes no idle gossip about you, about us, and has given me this small house for our use when you come to me.” I could only nod in amazement as he continued.
“Cassandra, you are young; because of that, there are things we must discuss with the utmost gravity. We must assume you to be fertile. You have said that your husband will not scorn you should you fall pregnant. I must be certain of that, else the bed behind the curtain will never be occupied. I will love you no less – and know that I do love and honour you as I did my wife – but I will not risk your well-being, nor that of any child we might conceive. Tell me truly …are you certain your husband is a man of his word?”
I nodded before speaking; if I was sure of nothing else in my marriage, I knew my husband would honour his vow to me made on that night so long ago. “I am certain of it. He has often said that he regrets his inability to give me a child …he believes I would be a good mother.” Maximus nodded once in that way I had come to know and love.
“If you are sure, I will accept your word as his. However, we must do all that we can to prevent your conceiving. You husband is old and infirm; a child conceived with me would look nothing like him, and on his death, any family he has would likely scorn you. I will not willingly take that chance. What do you know of methods of preventing conception?” I stared at him in complete ignorance. I had no knowledge of such things, having never had need to prevent conception. He smiled as he took my now cold hands in his. “There are means, one of which I am aware. I will enquire and learn if there are others that are deemed to be more reliable. For now, we will use the method used by the camp followers and soldiers when I was in the Army.” I finally found my voice.
“What is that?”
“A small sponge soaked in vinegar, placed high inside your channel. It is usually effective …there is always risk, but for the most part, the method works as intended.” I felt myself flush with embarrassment, but I was ignorant, and there was no one save Maximus of whom I could ask the questions.
“How …how do I get this sponge inside me?” His smile acknowledged my naiveté.
“If you are wiling, I will show you later today. There is another question I must ask you first. Have you had your courses since we met?” If possible, I flushed even more brightly but nodded in assent. “When did you last bleed?” My embarrassment was now complete.
“I began bleeding three days past …it should stop today or tomorrow.” He nodded again.
“Good. At least we are safe for the moment. If you do not wish to couple whilst you are bleeding, I understand. I will explain the method of preventing conception to you today, and we will employ it hence forth. I, too, will take all due precaution. When I was in the Army, the surgeons encouraged use of animal gut as a sheath during copulation. They believed it prevented disease …it must have been effective at least in that regard, as I never contracted anything from the camp whores, whilst many of my fellows who eschewed the precaution did. As it also catches a man's seed inside the sheath, it may also be helpful in preventing pregnancy.” He stopped speaking for a moment, and a shadow fell over his face. “Cassandra, I have no true wish to prevent a child of our union, as I view all children as gifts from the Gods; however, I must protect you from the scorn of all who would see you and any child you might conceive. I can do that only by attempting to prevent your conceiving a child.” He rose and pulled me into his arms, holding me close as he continued. “We both know that I will not survive to see any child you might bear as a result of our union. I will not be here to protect you or our child. I will not be here to marry you if your husband divorces you or dies. I can only protect you now. The future is up to the Gods, though the money I have earnt fighting is in Proximo’s hands, and he has invested it. When I die – and I soon will – he will give it to you. You are to use it as you deem fit. It is the only legacy I can offer you.”
I burst into tears; I could not bear the thought of his death, though I knew it was inevitable. I vowed to myself that if I did conceive and knew of it prior to his death that I would never tell him. To do so would only hasten his demise, as he would be distracted with care for me rather than defending himself in the arena. Maximus comforted me, his large hands stroking my back for several minutes until I ceased weeping then one large hand came up to caress my jaw, turning my lips to his and kissing me. When he broke our embrace, he took my hand, leading me to the alcove where the bed was, sitting on the side of the bed and picking up a small jar that sat on the floor. I could smell the acrid fumes of vinegar when he reached into the jar and brought forth a small sea sponge dripping with the liquid.
“Before we couple, you must insert this deep inside your channel. Squeeze out only part of the vinegar …there must be some left in the sponge in order for it to be effective.” My look of ignorance clearly pained him, as now he must tell me precisely how I was to accomplish teh task. “Sit beside me, Cassandra.” I did, and he squeezed out some of the vinegar, taking my hand and placing the sponge into it. “Feel the amount of liquid still in the sponge. There must be no less than that. If there is more, it does not matter, but there must be no less.” I nodded.
“You must squat indelicately, with your knees well apart. That will open your channel sufficiently to permit insertion of the sponge. You must use your fingers to insert the sponge, pushing it in as far as the length of your middle finger. Do you understand?” I shook my head. I had little knowledge of my intimate parts aside from knowing that I had an opening for the discharge of my monthly courses …and I knew it was that same opening into which Maximus inserted his cock when we coupled. He sighed at my ignorance, though a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. Somehow, I think my ignorance of such matters pleased him. I did have the presence of mind to venture a question.
“How am I to remove it after once …inserting it?” Now he smiled more widely.
“In the same manner you inserted in. I will show you, Cassandra.” At that, I flushed scarlet, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks and burning there. He saw my dismay. “Do you trust me, Cassandra?” I nodded. “Then remove your garments. I shall remove mine as well and teach you the method. If we couple today, I will teach you to remove the sponge and cleanse it afterward. If you wish not to couple today as you are bleeding still, we will wait for that, but today you must learn the method, bleeding or not.” I had never discussed my courses even with other women and was embarrassed that he had such knowledge, even more so because he could discuss the subject so easily. He looked in to my eyes. “Remove your garments.” I stood with him, and we removed our clothing.
He was not fully erect, but the talk of sexual matters had clearly aroused him, and his cock was beginning to engorge. He had replaced the sponge in the jar, and once I undressed and stood nude before him, he took it again from the jar and squeezed it allowing some of the liquid to return to the jar.
“Squat now …legs and knees well apart.” I flushed again but did as he instructed. He held the sponge between his index and middle fingers and squatted beside me. I closed my eyes as his hand went between my legs. Moments later I felt his fingers at my opening and the coldness of the sponge inside me as he pushed it deep within me. I opened my eyes and looked into his. They were gentle and warm, though his cock was now fully erect. Taking my hand, he pulled me with him as he stood.
“Can you feel it inside you?” I could not and shook my head in the negative, though I could feel the cool liquid running down my inner thighs. “Will you come to me now?” I nodded; he drew me down, and we lay on the bed. He kissed me again, and one large hand fondled my nipple as he caressed my breast. His lips moved to that breast, drawing my nipple into his mouth, and I felt a tightness is my belly. The hand that had been on my breast moved down my body, stroking me gently before moving between my legs, his fingers parting my folds before one large finger began lightly caressing my little nub.
I felt the now familiar languor begin to flow through me and arched into his hand. His lips left my breast, trailing hot kisses down my body, and he spread my legs wide, kneeling between them. I looked down to see his dark hair against the whiteness of my belly; his face rose for a moment, and he smiled at me before his mouth went to my body. I felt the firm warmth of his tongue as he used it to flick against that spot, sending shivers through me. He settled in a moment, sucking me gently as the languor in me turned to heat, and I felt the warmth flowing from where his tongue stimulated me throughout my belly and the rest of my body. Moments later I was writhing beneath him, hands twined in his short hair as I panted out my coming. He moved back up my body.
“I would have you know your sweetness, taste yourself on my tongue.” I opened my lips to his, tasting a salty pungency in his mouth that was reminiscent of the odour I recognised as my own scent. His head moved again to my breasts as one hand stroked his cock and placed it at my opening. He entered me gently, his girth stretching my walls and filling me as he began to move.
His method of loving me had varied in the past. At times it was quick and unrestrained, other times gentle and controlled. Today he was extraordinarily gentle, his movements slow and measured as I felt myself relax and contract round his cock with each stroke he took. I again felt the heat build within me and urged him on with movements of my own, rising to meet his thrusts as I began to pant. He increased his rhythm and soon was pounding into me, our combined movements serving to knock the head of the bed against the wall. Only moments later I cried out my release and satisfaction as heat exploded inside me, making me stiffen and my inner muscles clamped down hard on his rigid cock. Seconds later his shout reverberated through the small house, and he shuddered as he spent himself inside me.
Maximus rolled off me, pulling me close to his side as we lay together, breathing hard until we caught our breath. I ventured a question. “Do all men couple thus …first bringing a woman pleasure with their mouths before using their cocks?” He chuckled softly and rose on his elbow to look down at me.
“I suspect not. From what I know of other men’s talk, they climb on, do their business, and climb off, rather as one rides a horse.”
“Why are you different?” He smiled again, stroking my hair off my damp forehead.
“I learnt at an early age that I received greater pleasure if the woman was willing. Often times using my mouth to bring pleasure to her before seeing to my own has afforded me far greater enjoyment than I might otherwise have found. It began as a selfish motivation before I realised that the activity increased a woman’s pleasure and willingness when we coupled.”
“Did you know to do this, or did someone tell you of it?” He lay back again, one arm going behind his head.
“I learnt it from one of the camp whores when I was 15 years of age. I was still inexperienced and usually came within seconds after entering a woman …young men often do. I had been with her before, and on that particular occasion she sought to slow me down a bit, saying she knew a way to insure that both of us enjoyed the act.” He again raised himself and leant on his elbow as he looked into my eyes. “She made me lie on the bed and stroked me until I was rigid with need of her. I expected her to climb atop and ride me as she had done previously and was surprised when she moved to my cock and took it into her mouth, sucking me much as I have done with you. I exploded into her mouth less than a minute later; she sat back on her heels and smiled. It was an incredible experience, one previously unknown to me. I made to get off the bed and pay her, but she held me back, telling me we were not yet done with our business.
“She lay beside me for a time, stroking me and kissing my body. Within a few minutes I was again hard and ready for her. This time she did mount me, lowering herself onto my cock and then began to move slowly. I did not come immediately, but the extended sensation was welcome; I had not been aware that coupling could be prolonged but welcomed the experience. Indeed, if I could have devised a method to make it last the entire night, I should have employed it. As she rode me, I saw her nipples harden and could feel an increased tension in the muscles of her back and belly. I moved my hands to her waist and held her firmly in place, then began thrusting up inside her with intention, watching her all the while. I felt my sac begin to tighten, and I knew that I would come soon. Moments before I did so, she stiffened and gasped, shuddering in the same manner I had done when I came. I came shortly after that but not before realising that she had experienced the same pleasure as I did. On that day I learnt that coupling is more satisfying for men when both parties attain release.” He smiled down at me as I stroked his jaw, feeling the crispness of his beard beneath my fingers.
“I have not always employed the method …there are women I have used for whom I had no care for their pleasure, wanting only my own release and then to be away from them as quickly as possible.” He leant down and kissed me softly. “It is not thus with you, Cassandra. I want you to find as much pleasure as do I, I want you to long for me when we are apart, to want my body as much as I want yours.” I looked up at him.
“I do, Maximus …I do.”
NOTES
One Moment in Time - Part One
by
Reagan Kavanagh
Author's Notes: This mini arc moves between flashback and current time (i.e., ‘current’ in this instance being 186 AD), with a final projection forward to circa 205 AD. Your indulgence in following the rapid time shifts and transitions is appreciated.
MAXIMUS
I walked ahead of the guard on the return to my cell, scarcely hearing his coarse words. Cassandra. Her very name held import. I recalled the studies of my youth and my Greek tutor schooling me in the classics of his country. Cassandra. The seeress. Cassandra. Daughter of Priam, King of Troy, and Hecuba, she was given to Agamemnon as a prize of war and later cursed by Apollo. She had been blessed with the gift of prophecy, yet when she spurned Apollo’s love, he cursed her, permitting her to keep her gift but decreeing that no one would ever again heed her warnings. From that day forward, she was considered mad.
Cassandra. She had come to me again this day after having first come following my last fight. On that first occasion she had brought me food and cleansing oil. On this day, she again brought food, more oil, and a clean tunica. She had also brought much more. She gave the comfort of her body to a man condemned, one reviled and considered untouchable by all save other slaves.
More than the comfort of her body, she had freely given me all that she possessed. She had gifted me with her virginity. I had taken her roughly with no thought that our joining might cause her pain; she was married. It had not entered my mind that she could still be intact, and I had looked at her maiden’s blood in horror. I had interrogated her harshly, suspecting …what, I do not know; she did not seem the sort of woman to be coerced into trickery by Commodus, but I had learnt long since that enemies come in many forms. In the end I was convinced of her innocence, finally believing that she had given herself to me for the reasons she stated rather than having been sent by my nemesis to dishonour me. When she left me this day, I was as besotted as I had been with the housemaid of a neighbour when I was but a callow youth.
CASSANDRA
Maximus. The crowds shouted his name. It was written on the walls of the great arena. Young boys in the streets played at games in which they were Maximus, the greatest gladiator
I married young as do most Roman girls, and I was wed to a much older man. Servius was a good man; he was kind to me. He gave me all that I needed or wanted and did so willingly. Everything save that one, most important thing a man has to offer, his body and the life that flows from it. By the time I was old enough for him to take me to his bed he was no longer capable of performing his duty as a man. He tried …oh, how he tried, though he never caused me pain. I am unsure as to which of us was more frustrated by his efforts and his lack. He wished to possess me as every man wishes to possess his wife. I wanted to do my duty and longed desperately for a child to hold at my breast. After a month of futile effort, he summoned to me to the library one evening and spoke, his face full of sorrow.
“Cassandra, I cannot be a husband to you. If it is your wish to seek comfort elsewhere, I will not gainsay you. Should you become with child, I will accept it as my own and raise it with love and pride. All I ask is your discretion. I beg you not disgrace me amongst my peers; do not make me a mockery. Keep your liaisons private. I will ask no questions of you, nor will I ever punish you for following the demands of your body or your heart.” He was a good man; more importantly, we respected each other.
“Husband, I cannot betray your care. You have been an exemplary husband, and I have no complaint. I will seek no other man to fill my bed. But the servants …will they not speak of our not sharing a bed chamber?” He had told me to return to my own bedchamber, after having shared his unsuccessfully. We never again shared a bed.
“They will ask no questions, and they will say nothing. They are loyal, as are you, my Wife; they will not speak of what they suspect outside this house.” And that was that. I returned to my own quarters and slept alone for long, empty years. I envied my friends as they fell pregnant and were brought to childbirth. Some of them did not survive their ordeal; childbirth was dangerous. Many women and children did not accomplish it successfully, yet it was a risk I would have willingly borne. I rejoiced with those who survived and held their babes, returning them to their mothers’ arms to suckle at full breasts, knowing I would never have that joy for myself. I struggled against bitterness, against the loss of what I might have had, yet remained faithful to my husband until that one bright day.
*
Poppaea and Claudia invited me to attend the games with them. The young emperor, Commodus, had decreed 150 days of games in honour of his late father, Marcus Aurelius. I had no wish to go as I abhor violence and said as much. They chided me, saying that to refuse was an insult to the new emperor. With reluctance, I acquiesced and accompanied them the following day.
I was sickened by the cruelty. The public executions were first, and I kept my eyes cast down until it was done, and the bodies of the condemned dragged from the arena. There was a break in the activities, and the three of us left our seats and went into the area of the food stalls, having lunch before returning to our place in the stands. The next spectacle was that of tying those of religious sects deemed dangerous to the Empire to wooden stakes and then loosing wild beasts upon them …lions, tigers, other great cats I had never before observed. On seeing a lioness slowly approach a child tethered with her father, I rose and stumbled out of the stands and into the corridors below, fearing I would vomit my lunch before reaching a safe place to do so. I remained below until the cheering ceased, again giving time for the arena to be cleared.
When I returned, the arena floor was empty, and the crowd was chanting as I heard the announcer say that
“Maximus! Maximus! Maximus! Maximus!” Two men walked from one gate to the centre of the arena and waited until a second gate opened and a solitary man strode into view. Poppaea nudged me.
“That’s him! The one I told you about …isn’t he glorious?”
*
In truth, I could not determine if he was ‘glorious,’ as I was too far away to see his features. He was taller than most men, and his body – what I could see of it – was hard with muscle. His cuirass covered his chest, but his arms and legs were clearly visible from where I sat in the stands. I could see the muscles strain in his arms as he wielded his sword; the raw power in them was almost frightening. His legs were solid and heavily muscled. Though I had never known a man’s embrace, I could almost feel their strength as I might if he held me close to his body, and I blushed at the wickedness of my thoughts. His hair was short, and he wore a neatly trimmed beard. I could not visualise his face, other than to tell that – at least from a distance - he was likely what I would consider a handsome man. I found myself suddenly longing to see him closer and to note the colour of his eyes and the shape of his mouth. I wanted to see his hands, to observe him closely, and I chided myself for my foolishness.
He defeated the men set against him in only minutes then strode from the arena as if disgusted by the blood lust of the crowd. When Poppaea and Claudia made to leave, I said I had shopping, and I would make my way home alone. They nodded and left me. As soon as they were out of sight, I made my way back inside the arena and to the market stalls, making my purchases quickly, then asking one of the ever present soldiers the way to the visiting area for gladiators. He smirked as he replied.
“You another of the lot lusting after Maximus? You’re wasting your time, my Lady. He spurns all who seek him.” Still, he pointed me in the appropriate direction, and I made my way below the arena’s floor but was stopped by another guard asking my business.
“I wish to see the gladiator …Maximus. I have food for his comfort.” He looked me up and down in the manner of one appraising a prostitute before offering his coin.
“I’ll take you to the visitors’ cells and summon him. He must come to you, but don’t expect him to accommodate you. He’s sent every woman who lusts for him away without a second glance.” He turned, and I followed him meekly down the corridor to a cell; he motioned me inside, telling me to wait when he departed. I looked round the cell …a bed of stone hewn from the wall, a small table, sconces with candles on the wall from which flames flickered bravely against the constant gloom; chains hung suspended from rings driven deep into the stone walls of the cell. I felt sick, as if I would vomit. When they brought him here they would tether him like a ravening beast to those chains. To them he was no better than an animal, a prized bull on display for anyone wishing to purchase an hour of his time. I started to leave, to run away from this place and spare him further humiliation but heard the guard returning with Maximus.
“Move along Spaniard …you don’t want to keep a lady waiting.” Moments later he preceded the guard into the cell and went to stand with his back to the wall, calmly waiting for the guard to affix the chains to the iron manacles round his wrists.
MAXIMUS
The guard left us, closing the door, and I looked at the woman standing in the shadows, speaking tiredly.
“I will not serve you, Lady, any more than I have others who have bought me for an hour in days past. You have wasted both your money and your time.” Her soft reply surprised me. She said she had no wish to purchase my body, rather she brought food for me and oil with which to cleanse myself. She finally convinced me she was there of her own accord and had not been sent by Commodus. I learnt that she, too, was Spanish by birth, though her hair and skin were fair and her eyes lighter than those of us from
When I had finished eating, she brought forth the bottle of oil from her basket, along with a strigil. She offered to clean my back for me as it was clear I could not reach to do so, even without the chains binding me to the wall. I pulled my tunica over my head and turned my back to her, allowing the garment to lie on the chains. I felt the warmth and smoothness of her hands as she quickly rubbed the cleansing oil into my skin and whisked it away with her strigil. Once done, she said she would leave the oil for me that I might complete the process myself at a later time.
*
Cassandra returned a week later, seeking me out following my fight on that day. She again brought food and cleansing oil and to my amazement, a clean tunica. She apologised for not having the foresight to bring clean clothing on that first occasion; I surmised her decision to visit me on that day had been an impulse. On that first day, I had been too surprised at her apparent lack of lust to pay attention to her as a woman. She brought me comfort and human understanding, the empathy only one who suffers can truly offer another. I did not know the cause of her pain on that occasion but knew she suffered. When she came on this day, I looked at her with new eyes; on this day, I saw her as a woman and was stunned at the reality that I did so, that my body betrayed my Stoic training and responded to her as a man.
She was tall for a woman …the top of her head was only a few inches below my own height. Her hair was light, a golden colour akin to that of wheat ripening in the sun, and I longed to run my fingers through it as I had done when walking through my fields at harvest time. Her eyes were a curious shade, not quite brown, but not quite golden …they put me in mind of a piece of dark amber. Her skin was pale with only the slightest flush of colour on her cheeks; her lips were a natural shade of coral, and it was clear she eschewed the cosmetics so favoured by most women of her class.
She had entreated the guard not to tether me to the wall this day; for some reason, he had complied. Had he not, the events of that day would not have been possible. When she moved behind me to again clean my back, I caught her scent …it was clean and fresh, without the often cloying sweetness of perfumed oils most Roman women seem to use when dressing their hair. Her hair was fastened loosely with a clip at the nape of her neck, tumbling down her back in a profusion of waves almost to her waist. Beneath the odour of freshness was the unmistakable scent of a woman, that earthy pungency that attracts men to women in the same manner a stallion is drawn to a mare in heat. I gasped when her hand touched my skin, a fire shooting through me straight to my loins, and I was appalled to find myself suddenly erect, straining against the cloth of my subligar. She felt the change in me and took her hand from my back, placing it lightly on my shoulder, her voice soft when she spoke.
Her reassurance that my physical response to her touch had not distressed her seemed to make matters worse. She was there to offer me comfort, and my desire made me want to throw her onto the stones of the floor and take her like a common whore. I drew a deep breath before resting my head on the stone wall and allowed her to resume her task. When she had done, she said that she would avert her eyes whilst I finished the task on the front of my body. Before I could steel myself to cleanse my cock and spill my seed on the floor, I felt her hand take mine as she spoke. Her voice was low, with no hint of sympathy …all I could hear was compassion from another who suffered.
“It has been too long for you, Maximus. I neither can nor do I wish to take the place of your Lady, but do not spill your essence on the stones of the floor. Take the comfort I offer and remember the joy you felt in her.”
I turned to look at her and saw the flush of womanly modesty on her face. Ignoring her embarrassment, she had removed her clothing and placed my soiled tunica on the stone cot for comfort between warm flesh and cold stone. In that moment, my rational thought deserted me, and my concentration went to my cock. I pulled her to me, my prick erect and pulsing, hard against the woman softness of her belly. I crushed her mouth under mine, my tongue demanding entry as my hands roamed her body. The muscles of her back were strong and firm, as if she engaged in some sort of physical activity. Her breasts were high and firm, bursting with life, and I felt their pressure first against my chest, then under my hands. Their firmness spoke of a young woman, once who had not yet suckled a child. My hands resumed their journey, sweeping over the slope of her hips, to the juncture of her thighs before moving between them.
My fingers caressed her folds before separating them, and I inserted one finger inside her. I felt her jump slightly though she did not pull away. I backed her toward the stone cot and moved her onto her back, following her as my hands continued their exploration and my lips followed. I stopped at her mons, stroking the dark blonde curls before moving her knees apart and knelt between them. I looked up at her face; she turned away from me toward the wall, almost as if in shame for what she was about to do. My lips followed my fingers, and my tongue reached for her bud. Her odour enveloped me, the musk emitted by all female animals in heat surrounding me like a welcome cloud. I tasted her, and she trembled. I applied myself, and within moments she shuddered her release. I moved over her, sweeping my cock through her wetness before plunging into her in the manner men are accustomed to take a willing woman.
I felt her momentary resistance, which I took to be the common vinegar soaked sponge utilised to prevent conception, before thrusting again and seating myself fully inside her. Her cry brought me out of my lust. I looked into her eyes. They were wide with shock, and her brow furrowed with what I could only interpret as pain. I moved once, and she bit her lip as I realised her slickness was more than I had met in the past …unless with a virgin. I leant on one hand. Moving the other to the juncture of our bodies, I swept my fingers through the wetness, then brought my hand to my face. Blood. She wore a marriage ring, but she was clearly intact or had been until a few moments earlier. I made to withdraw from her, but her arms round me and her hands on my back held me to her.
CASSANDRA
When he moved his face between my up drawn and now outwardly spread legs, I thought to die of embarrassment. I had experienced this act with my husband, but he had been clumsy and fearful of hurting me. He did this after failing in the intended marriage act, saying that it would bring me pleasure. It did not. I was too young, only 15 years of age, and my shame at his looking at my most intimate parts was more than I could bear. I had been unable to relax or to take any pleasure from his efforts. I had prayed he would stop so that I might leave his bed and clothe myself and hide my body from his eyes.
When Maximus made to engage in the same act, I was embarrassed at what I was doing – at the betrayal of my husband – but his ministrations quickly brought me a pleasure I had never dreamt existed. Only moments after he applied his tongue to me, I shuddered into an exquisite release. He raised himself from my pubis and swept his cock through my wetness before attempting to enter me. His first thrust was unsuccessful; he withdrew and plunged hard into me, tearing asunder that piece of flesh that had marked my virginity. To my horror, I cried out in pain. He stopped immediately, inserting one hand between my legs and stroking his fingers through our now combined moisture, then brought that hand up to his face. The look of shock on his face changed quickly to dismay, and he made to remove himself from my body. I held him tightly, speaking rapidly, explaining that I had never been truly wife to my husband and begging him to introduce me to the pleasures of which my friends spoke. He said he would try not to cause me further pain and set to his mission.
The pain passed after a few moments, and I could feel his hardness moving ever more swiftly in and out of me, culminating minutes later with his cry and a shudder as he collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily as if he had run a hard race. I have been told that with a man of sufficient size and girth, the act is extremely pleasurable, though on that day I did not experience the feelings of which my friends have spoken. In truth, I did not expect it, as I was also aware that it is painful for women the first time. It was only moments after Maximus had finished when the guard appeared at the door of the cell and peered in. I turned toward the wall as Maximus sat up and shielded me with his body. The anger in his voice was apparent to anyone within earshot, though whether that anger was directed only at the guard or at me as well, I did not know.
“Leave us! The Lady is indisposed; I will call you when she is ready to leave.”
Maximus rose and dressed hastily, turned away from me as I clothed myself. I retied my subligar, pulling it tightly between my legs to catch the blood I could feel trickling there, hoping it would stop the stain from reaching my outer clothing before I could reach home. I would burn the subligar during the night; I would not have my maidservant find it and know that I had betrayed my vows to my husband. When I had dressed, I turned to find him looking at me, his face now cold and closed. My heart sank within me.
He asked if I was truly married or if I had lied. I knew he had returned to his suspicions of the previous week and again suspected me of having been sent by Commodus to dishonour him, to play him for a fool. I told him the truth of my marriage. I said that our friends thought me to be a barren wife as I had born no child in all the years of our marriage, and that my husband’s friends had often urged him to put me aside. I told him of Servius’ words on the last night I had shared his bed and our subsequent discussion in the library. I brushed away my tears as I told him that I wanted just once before dying to know what it was like to have a man love my body rather than only my mind and companionship. I asked that he forgive me and said I would trouble him no more. I picked up his soiled and now bloody tunica, saying that I would wash and mend it and have my maidservant return it to him, that I would trouble him no more. I heard the guard returning, his steps echoing loudly on the stone floor of the corridor, and I turned to go. Maximus response was the last I had expected.
MAXIMUS
I asked that she return, telling her we need not couple again if she preferred not but begged she grace me with her companionship. I knew that my days were few. If Commodus could not find a way to dispatch me in the arena, he would have me poisoned. There were more than enough other lanistae whose pockets were suffering at my wins for Proximo’s financial gain. Commodus could easily blame one of them, and one less gladiatore would not be missed.
Cassandra had given me hope in those last days of my life. We shared a homeland and could speak of that. She had travelled with her husband, and we could speak of places we had seen, the strange peoples and customs unknown to
*
After that day, Cassandra came to my cell three and sometimes four days a week. Proximo wanted his gladiators well rested, lest we die too early and cost him money. Two weeks after the day Cassandra and I consummated our union, he came to my cell as she was leaving. He stood aside to let her pass, bowing his head in respect to a woman who was clearly a lady and well above his own station. Once her footsteps had faded down the corridor he turned back to me and sat heavily on the stone cot before speaking.
“She is the one of whom the guards speak?” It was pointless to deny the fact or pretend I did not know what he meant. I nodded once.
“Do you care for her as you would a good woman outside this hell hole?” I nodded again. He stood before speaking again. “Gather whatever you have here that you wish to have with you. I am moving you to the lyceum. There is much jealously among my comrades, and I will not have you poisoned here like a wild dog. I will leave word for the woman to seek out Septus; he will direct her to the lyceum when next she comes to visit you.” I left the great arena that day, returning only for my scheduled fights. Two days later,
Proximo was a true mercenary. He was avaricious, cold, brutal on occasion, yet he did have the ability to care for some people. For whatever reason, he seemed cautious of my welfare. I suppose it was due to my monetary value to him; he once told me I was making him rich beyond his wildest dreams. Upon our arrival at the lyceum following his removal of me from the coliseum cells, he asked if I loved ‘the woman.’ I did not wish to answer him, but it is unlike me to prevaricate when asked a direct question.
“Yes …I have come to love her. She has brought me hope in a world gone dark. She has given me back my soul when I thought it forever lost.” He gave me a bitter smile before speaking again.
“Hope? Hope for what, Spaniard? Escape? Do you think her husband will buy your freedom if she bids him?” I smiled, one as bitter as his own.
“Her husband could not afford your price even were she to grovel at his feet. She has brought hope to my soul. She has made me feel alive, when I believed myself dead to all emotion save hatred.” He turned away from me. “Return to your cell, Spaniard. I have much work to do this night.” The following morning he watched me as I practised with Hakken, barking his order to me as I strode from the arena.
“Bathe yourself, then come to my library.” I did as he commanded, permitting a slave – and that was laughable, for how is it that one slave is commanded to attend another – in the tepidarium to cleanse me first with oil and strigil before moving to the pool for a time, then on to the caldarium and at last the frigidarium before clothing myself and walking to the library. Proximo was waiting for me when I knocked on the door.
“I have verified the truth of this woman’s …this Cassandra’s …story. You are aware that her husband is quite old?”
“She has told me of her marriage and the difference in their ages.”
“What if you get her with child? Her husband is too old now to be its father. He could scorn her, divorce her, cast her out, or even beat her to death if she falls pregnant. Have you considered that? Of course the story – when it gets round – would do your reputation no harm. You’d have the women flocking to the great arena more than you do now, and they’d be tearing down the gates here to get at you. Still, have you considered her welfare in any of this, or are you thinking with your prick?” I had held my breath whilst he spoke but now answered him in anger.
“My enslavement has not made me dull-witted, Proximo. Of course I have considered her plight should she fall pregnant. What you do not know is that her husband has never been a husband to her. He attempted to take his right when she was old enough to take to his bed and failed. He gave her permission then to take a lover should she wish; his only request was that she use discretion and not shame him. He has told her that if she fell pregnant, he would accept the child as his own and raise it accordingly.” I stopped, taking a deep breath before continuing. “She was virgin when I took her, Proximo. She has given me all that a woman can give a man. She gave it willingly, and yes, I say it again …I do love her. As she loves me.” He was unprepared for my revelation and caught his breath sharply on learning she had been intact. He turned away from me for a time and then faced me again.
“Come with me, Maximus.” Until that moment he had called me Spaniard. Was his use of my name implication he now regarded me as a man, rather than merely his chattel? I followed him out of the office and through the house, outside, and on to a small building behind the barracks housing the gladiatoris. He worked a key from his ring, removing it from the iron circle and gave it to me. “Open the door.” I did as he asked, and he motioned me inside, taking the torch from the sconce on the wall outside and moving inside, the flame illuminating the interior. There was a table and two chairs, a desk and to one side behind a curtain, a large bed.
“When she comes to you, bring her here. I do not want her in the barracks where all can see and hear you. She may be an unfaithful wife, but she is a freedwoman and appears to be a lady of good conscience. I want no gossip about her amongst the men, nor will I have her dishonoured for all to see. This will afford her privacy.” He turned and left me there with the key in my hand, my mouth fallen open in shock.
CASSANDRA
After my first two visits to him, it had been arranged that his former aide, Cicero, would come to my home on those days that he had time not required to be spent in training. We arranged for me to come again the following day – he was not scheduled to fight – and
Two weeks after my second visit, I had made my way alone and unannounced to the bowels of the arena, asking the guard if I might see Maximus. When he directed me to an older guard – Septus – I felt my gut clench, fearing that Maximus had fallen ill, or worse. I sought out the man and asked of Maximus. He smiled.
“Come with me, my Lady.” I followed him down yet another dim corridor and into a small room. He offered me watered wine, directed me to sit and said that he would return shortly before leaving me alone. I waited for what seemed an interminable time and had risen with the intention of leaving when I heard footsteps coming toward the room. Septus entered, followed by
“My Lady. General Maximus asks that I bring you to him. He no longer resides here, as Proximo fears for his safety in this setting. The General is at Proximo’s lyceum and would have me bring you to him there if you agree.” I did not know how to reply, so simply nodded my head. “Pull your cloak over your hair and close round your face, my Lady. The General instructs that your anonymity is to be preserved at all costs.” My cloak had fallen round my shoulders when I sat earlier, and now I pulled it high round my neck and the hood over my hair, pulling the folds about my face so that it would be difficult to identify me.
“You have seen nothing and you know nothing. If you speak of this, I will cut off your prick and shove it down your throat before I kill you.” Septus smiled.
“I have seen no lady in this place and would not speak of her even had I done so.”
“Come with me, my Lady. I will take you to the General.” That was the last time I entered the grim desperation beneath the floor of the great arena. I followed
“He practised earlier in the day then went to the baths. He will be ready to receive you now.” He took my arm, leading me away from the courtyard and toward the large villa, rounded the villa and took me to a small house set some distance behind the villa and barracks. He stopped and knocked at the door, standing aside. The door opened, and Maximus smiled at me.
“General, I have brought the Lady Cassandra, as you asked.”
“I thank you, Cicero. I will find you when she is ready to leave.”
“Sit, Cassandra. There is much we must discuss.” I sat and he poured water from a pitcher on the table into two cups, handing me one as he sat in from of me. “Proximo removed me from the arena. It seems there are those who grow poorer from my efforts as Proximo grows steadily richer. He feared for my safety and has installed me here. He is aware of our relationship …he wishes no idle gossip about you, about us, and has given me this small house for our use when you come to me.” I could only nod in amazement as he continued.
“Cassandra, you are young; because of that, there are things we must discuss with the utmost gravity. We must assume you to be fertile. You have said that your husband will not scorn you should you fall pregnant. I must be certain of that, else the bed behind the curtain will never be occupied. I will love you no less – and know that I do love and honour you as I did my wife – but I will not risk your well-being, nor that of any child we might conceive. Tell me truly …are you certain your husband is a man of his word?”
I nodded before speaking; if I was sure of nothing else in my marriage, I knew my husband would honour his vow to me made on that night so long ago. “I am certain of it. He has often said that he regrets his inability to give me a child …he believes I would be a good mother.” Maximus nodded once in that way I had come to know and love.
“If you are sure, I will accept your word as his. However, we must do all that we can to prevent your conceiving. You husband is old and infirm; a child conceived with me would look nothing like him, and on his death, any family he has would likely scorn you. I will not willingly take that chance. What do you know of methods of preventing conception?” I stared at him in complete ignorance. I had no knowledge of such things, having never had need to prevent conception. He smiled as he took my now cold hands in his. “There are means, one of which I am aware. I will enquire and learn if there are others that are deemed to be more reliable. For now, we will use the method used by the camp followers and soldiers when I was in the Army.” I finally found my voice.
“What is that?”
“A small sponge soaked in vinegar, placed high inside your channel. It is usually effective …there is always risk, but for the most part, the method works as intended.” I felt myself flush with embarrassment, but I was ignorant, and there was no one save Maximus of whom I could ask the questions.
“How …how do I get this sponge inside me?” His smile acknowledged my naiveté.
“If you are wiling, I will show you later today. There is another question I must ask you first. Have you had your courses since we met?” If possible, I flushed even more brightly but nodded in assent. “When did you last bleed?” My embarrassment was now complete.
“I began bleeding three days past …it should stop today or tomorrow.” He nodded again.
“Good. At least we are safe for the moment. If you do not wish to couple whilst you are bleeding, I understand. I will explain the method of preventing conception to you today, and we will employ it hence forth. I, too, will take all due precaution. When I was in the Army, the surgeons encouraged use of animal gut as a sheath during copulation. They believed it prevented disease …it must have been effective at least in that regard, as I never contracted anything from the camp whores, whilst many of my fellows who eschewed the precaution did. As it also catches a man's seed inside the sheath, it may also be helpful in preventing pregnancy.” He stopped speaking for a moment, and a shadow fell over his face. “Cassandra, I have no true wish to prevent a child of our union, as I view all children as gifts from the Gods; however, I must protect you from the scorn of all who would see you and any child you might conceive. I can do that only by attempting to prevent your conceiving a child.” He rose and pulled me into his arms, holding me close as he continued. “We both know that I will not survive to see any child you might bear as a result of our union. I will not be here to protect you or our child. I will not be here to marry you if your husband divorces you or dies. I can only protect you now. The future is up to the Gods, though the money I have earnt fighting is in Proximo’s hands, and he has invested it. When I die – and I soon will – he will give it to you. You are to use it as you deem fit. It is the only legacy I can offer you.”
I burst into tears; I could not bear the thought of his death, though I knew it was inevitable. I vowed to myself that if I did conceive and knew of it prior to his death that I would never tell him. To do so would only hasten his demise, as he would be distracted with care for me rather than defending himself in the arena. Maximus comforted me, his large hands stroking my back for several minutes until I ceased weeping then one large hand came up to caress my jaw, turning my lips to his and kissing me. When he broke our embrace, he took my hand, leading me to the alcove where the bed was, sitting on the side of the bed and picking up a small jar that sat on the floor. I could smell the acrid fumes of vinegar when he reached into the jar and brought forth a small sea sponge dripping with the liquid.
“Before we couple, you must insert this deep inside your channel. Squeeze out only part of the vinegar …there must be some left in the sponge in order for it to be effective.” My look of ignorance clearly pained him, as now he must tell me precisely how I was to accomplish teh task. “Sit beside me, Cassandra.” I did, and he squeezed out some of the vinegar, taking my hand and placing the sponge into it. “Feel the amount of liquid still in the sponge. There must be no less than that. If there is more, it does not matter, but there must be no less.” I nodded.
“You must squat indelicately, with your knees well apart. That will open your channel sufficiently to permit insertion of the sponge. You must use your fingers to insert the sponge, pushing it in as far as the length of your middle finger. Do you understand?” I shook my head. I had little knowledge of my intimate parts aside from knowing that I had an opening for the discharge of my monthly courses …and I knew it was that same opening into which Maximus inserted his cock when we coupled. He sighed at my ignorance, though a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. Somehow, I think my ignorance of such matters pleased him. I did have the presence of mind to venture a question.
“How am I to remove it after once …inserting it?” Now he smiled more widely.
“In the same manner you inserted in. I will show you, Cassandra.” At that, I flushed scarlet, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks and burning there. He saw my dismay. “Do you trust me, Cassandra?” I nodded. “Then remove your garments. I shall remove mine as well and teach you the method. If we couple today, I will teach you to remove the sponge and cleanse it afterward. If you wish not to couple today as you are bleeding still, we will wait for that, but today you must learn the method, bleeding or not.” I had never discussed my courses even with other women and was embarrassed that he had such knowledge, even more so because he could discuss the subject so easily. He looked in to my eyes. “Remove your garments.” I stood with him, and we removed our clothing.
He was not fully erect, but the talk of sexual matters had clearly aroused him, and his cock was beginning to engorge. He had replaced the sponge in the jar, and once I undressed and stood nude before him, he took it again from the jar and squeezed it allowing some of the liquid to return to the jar.
“Squat now …legs and knees well apart.” I flushed again but did as he instructed. He held the sponge between his index and middle fingers and squatted beside me. I closed my eyes as his hand went between my legs. Moments later I felt his fingers at my opening and the coldness of the sponge inside me as he pushed it deep within me. I opened my eyes and looked into his. They were gentle and warm, though his cock was now fully erect. Taking my hand, he pulled me with him as he stood.
“Can you feel it inside you?” I could not and shook my head in the negative, though I could feel the cool liquid running down my inner thighs. “Will you come to me now?” I nodded; he drew me down, and we lay on the bed. He kissed me again, and one large hand fondled my nipple as he caressed my breast. His lips moved to that breast, drawing my nipple into his mouth, and I felt a tightness is my belly. The hand that had been on my breast moved down my body, stroking me gently before moving between my legs, his fingers parting my folds before one large finger began lightly caressing my little nub.
I felt the now familiar languor begin to flow through me and arched into his hand. His lips left my breast, trailing hot kisses down my body, and he spread my legs wide, kneeling between them. I looked down to see his dark hair against the whiteness of my belly; his face rose for a moment, and he smiled at me before his mouth went to my body. I felt the firm warmth of his tongue as he used it to flick against that spot, sending shivers through me. He settled in a moment, sucking me gently as the languor in me turned to heat, and I felt the warmth flowing from where his tongue stimulated me throughout my belly and the rest of my body. Moments later I was writhing beneath him, hands twined in his short hair as I panted out my coming. He moved back up my body.
“I would have you know your sweetness, taste yourself on my tongue.” I opened my lips to his, tasting a salty pungency in his mouth that was reminiscent of the odour I recognised as my own scent. His head moved again to my breasts as one hand stroked his cock and placed it at my opening. He entered me gently, his girth stretching my walls and filling me as he began to move.
His method of loving me had varied in the past. At times it was quick and unrestrained, other times gentle and controlled. Today he was extraordinarily gentle, his movements slow and measured as I felt myself relax and contract round his cock with each stroke he took. I again felt the heat build within me and urged him on with movements of my own, rising to meet his thrusts as I began to pant. He increased his rhythm and soon was pounding into me, our combined movements serving to knock the head of the bed against the wall. Only moments later I cried out my release and satisfaction as heat exploded inside me, making me stiffen and my inner muscles clamped down hard on his rigid cock. Seconds later his shout reverberated through the small house, and he shuddered as he spent himself inside me.
Maximus rolled off me, pulling me close to his side as we lay together, breathing hard until we caught our breath. I ventured a question. “Do all men couple thus …first bringing a woman pleasure with their mouths before using their cocks?” He chuckled softly and rose on his elbow to look down at me.
“I suspect not. From what I know of other men’s talk, they climb on, do their business, and climb off, rather as one rides a horse.”
“Why are you different?” He smiled again, stroking my hair off my damp forehead.
“I learnt at an early age that I received greater pleasure if the woman was willing. Often times using my mouth to bring pleasure to her before seeing to my own has afforded me far greater enjoyment than I might otherwise have found. It began as a selfish motivation before I realised that the activity increased a woman’s pleasure and willingness when we coupled.”
“Did you know to do this, or did someone tell you of it?” He lay back again, one arm going behind his head.
“I learnt it from one of the camp whores when I was 15 years of age. I was still inexperienced and usually came within seconds after entering a woman …young men often do. I had been with her before, and on that particular occasion she sought to slow me down a bit, saying she knew a way to insure that both of us enjoyed the act.” He again raised himself and leant on his elbow as he looked into my eyes. “She made me lie on the bed and stroked me until I was rigid with need of her. I expected her to climb atop and ride me as she had done previously and was surprised when she moved to my cock and took it into her mouth, sucking me much as I have done with you. I exploded into her mouth less than a minute later; she sat back on her heels and smiled. It was an incredible experience, one previously unknown to me. I made to get off the bed and pay her, but she held me back, telling me we were not yet done with our business.
“She lay beside me for a time, stroking me and kissing my body. Within a few minutes I was again hard and ready for her. This time she did mount me, lowering herself onto my cock and then began to move slowly. I did not come immediately, but the extended sensation was welcome; I had not been aware that coupling could be prolonged but welcomed the experience. Indeed, if I could have devised a method to make it last the entire night, I should have employed it. As she rode me, I saw her nipples harden and could feel an increased tension in the muscles of her back and belly. I moved my hands to her waist and held her firmly in place, then began thrusting up inside her with intention, watching her all the while. I felt my sac begin to tighten, and I knew that I would come soon. Moments before I did so, she stiffened and gasped, shuddering in the same manner I had done when I came. I came shortly after that but not before realising that she had experienced the same pleasure as I did. On that day I learnt that coupling is more satisfying for men when both parties attain release.” He smiled down at me as I stroked his jaw, feeling the crispness of his beard beneath my fingers.
“I have not always employed the method …there are women I have used for whom I had no care for their pleasure, wanting only my own release and then to be away from them as quickly as possible.” He leant down and kissed me softly. “It is not thus with you, Cassandra. I want you to find as much pleasure as do I, I want you to long for me when we are apart, to want my body as much as I want yours.” I looked up at him.
“I do, Maximus …I do.”
To
be Continued
NOTES
|
anno Domini
|
Age of the Lord |