Max

E-mail of Tuesday, 19 July 2005, Max to Terry

Terry,

Are you free to come by my loft after work? There is something I would discuss with you, but prefer doing so man-to-man and in a private setting.

Max

E-mail of Tuesday, 19 July 2005, Terry to Max

Sure, mate. I’ll meet you there as soon as I leave the office. Something got your knickers in a twist?

T

MAXIMUS

I stopped at Terry’s office on my way out of the suite to let him know I was leaving. Pointing to his watch and then holding up his index finger while cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear, he indicated that he would be at my loft within the hour.

*

I opened the door to his knock and Terry was there with a bottle of scotch in one hand and take away Chinese in the other.

“I stopped and picked up reinforcements because you never have anything here …at least not since you started taking all your meals and drink in the country.” He said it with a smile and I smiled as well; he was correct. “Not that you ever kept much here before you met what’s-her-name.” I refused to rise to the bait. Stepping aside to permit him entry, I took the bottle and went to the kitchen for glasses as he followed and put the take out bag on the counter. He leaned against the bar and looked at me.

“So, who called this meeting?” Terry used the standard DoD opening when the attendee wanted to build a fire under the meeting organiser.

“Let me pour us a drink and sit down.”

“Sounds serious, mate.”

“It is.”

“If this is concerning your lady friend, it isn’t obvious at work this time. Is there something I should know?” I looked at him as we sat.

“Terry, I would appreciate it if you would call her by her given name. It is Reagan, and you know it well.”

“After that one phone call, Hell yes, I know her name.” I rubbed my jaw. This was likely to be more difficult than I had envisioned.

“Terry, I ask that you not make this more difficult than it need be.” His eyebrows shot up as he looked at me.

“Max, don’t tell me you’re leaving the firm. We’re just starting to really get rolling and we can’t do it without you. Bud White could replace you in the field but he doesn’t have your social skills with clients, not to mention your charming demeanor.” I shook my head; I was in no mood for his levity, however well intentioned. Terry uses a light tone when trying to mask the fact that he is deadly serious.

“I have no intention of leaving the firm. Now let me speak.” Terry nodded as I began to talk.

“Obviously you recall the brief conversation you had with Reagan last spring.” He nodded. “There is much you do not know about our relationship and which has now become important for you to know. I met Reagan last February – just after Valentine’s day – and have been seeing her constantly since that time.”

“I sort of figured that one on my own, Mate. So when were you going to tell me that she wasn’t pregnant when I spoke with her in May? Give me some new G2.”

“I love her deeply, Terry, and have reason to believe that she feels the same. When I took leave last month, I took her to my ancestral home in Spain and then on to Rome.” He was now rubbing his eyebrow and was clearly worried. “I have told her of our origins.” He was on his feet in an instant.

“Jesus-fucking-Christ, Max! Does Dino know? Am I the last fucking one in the loop?” He began pacing the center of the lounge. “Are you dead sure that she knows? There’s telling her and there’s having her believe …big difference, Max.”

“She has seen the gladius, Terry. She knows and she does believe, beyond any doubt.” He buried his head in his hands and groaned.

“Oh, Christ ….”

“I am more sure of her than I have ever been of anyone in my life and, no, I have said nothing to Dino.” He stopped pacing and turned to me.

“Well, that’s something. I suppose it’s time Dino and I met her, isn’t it?”

“It is past time. You should know that if she will have me, I intend to marry her.” He dropped onto the couch as if I had cut the legs from under him. I knew that given his experience of marriage, he would not view this as a welcome turn in my life.

“Does she know this yet?” I leant forward before speaking again.

“She does. That was part of the misunderstanding into which you were drawn in the spring. She felt I was rushing her into marriage because I feared that she might have been with child. I did not understand her reluctance to marry again because of her own prior experience with marriage, a marriage not dissimilar in some respects to your own. She is cautious, Terry. We will marry, but not in the immediate future.” He shook his head and actually smiled for a moment.

“Mate, two minutes ago you said that you and Reagan would marry if she would have you …is the Old Roman rearing his ugly head again? What happened to ‘if she’ll have me?’” I would not dignify his question with a response.

“Max, we need to rethink your status as a covert operative. You’re a damned sight better at keeping secrets than I ever dreamt you’d be. I had no fucking clue.” He sighed and drained the scotch in his glass as he stood. “We need to tell Dino and both of us need to meet her as soon as possible. Let’s make it Sunday, here, at noon. You two enjoy Saturday night, because I can’t guarantee what Sunday and the Irishman will bring.”

I knew that between now and Sunday, Terry would apprise Dino of all that he knew. I also realised that his reaction this night was mild, as I had taken him unawares. By Sunday, his reaction would likely be as volatile as what I anticipated from Dino. In the intervening days, I would brief Cassandra of what awaited her on Sunday.

*

Sunday, 24 July 2005

Terry arrived at 11:45. When I opened the door he had a case of scotch in his arms, the ‘good stuff,’ as Dino would say. I raised my brows at his perception that an entire case of liquor was needed, and he shrugged in response as he entered.

“More reinforcements …thought I’d lay in stores for the siege.” As Terry walked to the kitchen, Cassandra was coming back to the lounge. She stopped short at the sight of the case of scotch and looked at him. I wondered what she would say and suspected her comment would be humourous. She had assured me that she would give Terry every benefit of the doubt and, if he gave her any positive response, she would go all the way in cooperating with him. Irrespective of Terry’s reaction to her and her own words, I also knew that she would do all in her power to cooperate and facilitate this meeting. I am beginning to suspect that women may have better negotiating skills than do men.

“Um, Terry is it?” He nodded. “Well, if you’re stocking up for a siege, we’re going to need more ice.” I was watching their interchange closely and Terry actually smiled. He put the case on the counter and turned back to her. She put out her hand and he met it with his own.

“Reagan Kavanagh. Nice to meet you, Terry.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Love.” He reached above her and took four glasses from the cupboard and handed them to her, telling her that he and Dino took their scotch neat. She put one cube into a glass for herself and he poured for the three of us. They joined me in the lounge and we sat, Cassandra beside me on the couch and I lay my arm on it behind her. Terry was in the wing chair and held up his glass.

“Cheers. This is the quiet before the storm …Dino’s not here yet.” He took a sip and looked at me.

“So, what did you two lovebirds do yesterday?”

“A friend of Reagan’s insisted we see Cinderella Man, so the three of us went together.” He almost choked on his drink as he looked at me.

“Jesus! Does she know, too?” Cassandra negated the need for me to formulate a response.

“She has no need-to-know, Terry. Relax. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I tell everything I know.” His look bored into her.

“Reagan, I don’t often explain myself – don’t often feel it necessary - but about the phone call …your relationship had just taken my Middle East operative out of play at a time that I critically needed him. That was the first indication I’d had as to why Max was unfit for duty and why I had to go in his place. At that point I considered you to be the enemy. I hope to God you’re not.”

“Terry, we had an unfortunate beginning. We can’t go back and revise it, so let’s concentrate on making the best of things as we move forward.” Her voice was low and reasonable, Terry was calm and deliberate in extending the olive branch; we all knew that the storm would break when Dino arrived. He looked at his glass, swirling the scotch before looking back up at her.

“Reagan, I’m going to be brutally honest here. Max and I know each other far better than do he and Dino because we’ve spent more time together than they have. I’m inclined to trust you because I trust Max implicitly. I can’t promise you the same courtesy from Dino. I’m here today to referee as much as to get to know you. I’m willing to take my time; Dino’s a bit more volatile. But make no mistake, just because I trust Max doesn’t in any way imply that you aren’t on probation with me.” She nodded.

“I would expect nothing less, Terry. You – all of you – have far too much at stake to take me at face value and you would be foolish if you did.” He nodded. I think at that point they understood each other as well as was possible at this point in time. It was an uneasy silence as we awaited the arrival of the Irishman.

DINO

I stood outside the door listening …nothing but silence. Either Terry had the same thoughts that had been running through my head the last few days and had already killed both of them and I was here on a clean-up mission, or they were waiting for me. Knowing Tio as I do, they were waiting for me. Somehow, someway, over the last five days, he’d gotten his head around this and had found a way to accept it and make it work. I figured that left me holding the bag.

At that point, my view of this woman was that she was either all black or all white, with no room for anything in between. If she’s white, she’s in, and in all the way. If she was black and playing us, she had to be neutralized unless we wanted to spend the rest of our lives watching her. Terry expected me to charm her but that ain’t the game I’m playing today. To use Bud White’s term, Terry and I would be playing the good cop/bad cop routine. Guess who was the bad cop? Time to start the game. I kicked the door and shouted.

“I’ve got food in my hands …someone open the fucking door! It ain’t like you’re not expecting me.” It may be Max’s loft but Terry answered the door. I breezed in, kicking the door shut behind me.

“Hermanos, Hermana! You guys started without me.” I dumped the food on the coffee table and turned to Reagan. “Hey, Baby, how’s tricks?” They were all on their feet by that point and Max was clearly displeased with my form of address to his beloved. He started to speak and I cut him off.

“Dino, I do not appreciate ….”

“Fuck it, Max, I call it as I see it.” Reagan gave me that polite, social smile that women in certain circles use when someone makes a gaffe; she was playing the lady card for all she was worth. For now, I was assuming that she was a bitch; if it turned out that she really was a lady, I’d apologize later and eat crow then.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Dino. May I get you a drink?” I picked up the open scotch bottle sitting on the coffee table and took a long pull on it.

“No need, Baby, I’ve got one.” Terry was letting me run and I figured his perspective was that since he had a loose cannon, he might as well make the most of it. With his calm voice, Tio may be a better negotiator but I’m a better interrogator. I always get more because they never know what I’m going to do next and that’s my edge; anything is possible …anything.

Reagan wasn’t going to let the food stay on the coffee table where I’d dumped it and started picking up the cartons to take into the kitchen. I figured this was my chance to get her alone, so I grabbed the rest of it and followed her. Max started after me but Tio grabbed his arm and I heard him speak softly.

“Let them go, Max …wait.” Terry was letting me know that if I didn’t want them to hear me while I was in the kitchen, I needed to get my decibel level lower than his. I put the food on the counter and moved into her space. She backed into the corner like a mouse watching a cobra and there was no Rikki Tikki Tavi in sight. I backed her into the wall and pushed my leg between hers, moving my knee up to her crotch and rubbing hard.

“You’re dangerous, Baby. What are you in this for? Money? If your plan is to suck this firm dry or call the tabs, or bleed the firm white and then call the gossip rags as a backup source of income, you know you’d never have to lift another finger as long as you live. But if you do lift one of those fingers, they’ll be gone before you can dial the first number.” I’ll give her this much, she didn’t even blink. This is one cold bitch. When she answered me, her voice was as cold as mine had been. I moved my leg, shoved her against the wall and ground my pelvis into her.

“Don’t play head games with a shrink, Dino. You’ll lose every fucking time.” Looked like I’d been right and under the veneer, Max’s lady was a whore but what she did next was the last thing I’d expected. Her left hand went down and her nails curled into my crotch. She ground out the words, her voice low enough that Max and Terry couldn’t hear her and dangerous enough to get my attention.

“I could rip these off right now if I wanted to …now get the hell off me!” She let go and shoved me backward with all the strength in her right arm and walked calmly back into the living room. But for the flush on her face, no one would have dreamed anything had ever happened. How the fuck did a woman who appeared to be this cold and calculating get past Max’s radar?

She walked over and sat beside Max on the couch. He took her hand and looked at it as he linked his fingers in hers. I hadn’t realized until he looked down that she’d broken a couple of nails with that little maneuver on my balls. Max’s eyes went from her hand to her eyes and that muscle in his jaw twitched. She shook her head slightly at him and smiled as I spoke.

“Max, I think I may know your lady friend better than you do.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “When Tio dropped this bomb on me, I started doing some checking.” I looked at Terry. He wasn’t surprised, but that little right sideways cock of his head and the raised left eyebrow told me he wasn’t strictly pleased with my tactics at the moment, not that there was a fucking thing he could do about it now. I’d done the background check and even had some of my old crew tail her as well as put a tap on her phone.

On the surface, what I’d found out was pretty boring. She leaves home in the morning and goes straight to the university, leaves the university and goes straight home …stopped one day for groceries and then the liquor store, but straight home after that. Everything had come up squeaky clean and that was the problem. She was too fucking clean and if I was going to find anything – much less rattle her composure – I had to play the innuendos. I didn’t lie about what I’d found, but I didn’t exactly tell Max the truth either because I was still hoping that I could rattle her into disclosing what wasn’t in the paper trail. I listed all the ways I’d had her checked, then looked him straight in the eye and landed what I thought was a knockout punch.

“Max, just because Reagan has a high security clearance doesn’t mean she’s clean. No one’s record is as fucking clean as hers without it having been scrubbed. And while we’re talking about clean, Pal, who the hell was the blonde you were having lunch with at Jeroboam?”

Even though it was plain that Max would like nothing better than taking my head off starting just above my balls, he had listened quietly through all this. What I didn’t anticipate was Tio sabotaging everything I’d said and that really pissed me off. Whose fucking side was he on anyway? He could at least not have gone over to their side so easily …unless he wanted Max and Reagan to think he was on their team. Like the good negotiator that Tio is, his voice was calm and conciliatory and so fucking reasonable that I wanted to punch him in the mouth.

“Dino, Max and I appreciate that you’ve had Reagan thoroughly investigated; we’re all safer for your thoroughness. However, the fact remains that Max loves her and she apparently loves him. So as of now, she’s in …she’s on probation, but she’s in and the rest of us just have to pray that she’s what she seems to be.” I looked at the three of them and decided I’d better get out of there before I took the place apart.

“Fine. Hold on to your fairy tale. But when she fucks all of us, remember who issued the warning.” I looked hard at Tio …I don’t take it well when my best friend fucks me over. I didn’t bother to close the door when I left.

REAGAN

I looked at Maximus and Terry and the shock on their faces when Dino left the door standing ajar as he left. Although it wasn’t a time for levity, I tried to lighten the tone a bit.

“Well, that went well.” Terry groaned and Maximus just looked at me. “Hey, guys, no one’s dead, there’s no blood on the floor, and we all have all the requisite body parts still attached.” Terry spoke first, obviously in an effort to deflect our attention from Dino’s rant.

“All soldiers eat when food’s available because they never know when they’ll get another chance. Dino brought dinner. I say we eat.” I laughed because the entire scenario had devolved into the absurd.

“God, Terry, you sound like Scarlet O’Hara and that I’ll-think-about-it-tomorrow business.” Terry sighed and looked at me.

“Reagan, I think it’s pretty clear that Dino isn’t going to give over this easily. If there is anything in your past that is even the slightest bit questionable, he’ll find it and exploit it. While he isn’t the total bastard that he appeared to be today, he’s like a rabid dog when he thinks someone is out to damage any of us or the firm. If there’s anything in your background that Max and I need to know, you need to tell us now.” He went to the kitchen for a bottle that Dino hadn’t been drinking from, brought it back and refilled our glasses. I wished there was a way I could convince he and Dino that I have no ulterior motive at work, or rather, that my only motivation is my love for Maximus. I’ve no interest in whatever money TEO has and certainly no wish to expose all of them to the media, if for no other reason than the fact that I’ve no desire to live my own life in a fishbowl. All I could do was try, and hope they would believe me before my presence caused a permanent rift among the three of them.

“Terry, there really isn’t anything to tell; my life is an open book. Why don’t you tell me what you do know, because I’m quite sure that – like Dino - you’ve also done at least a cursory check on me since Max told you about our relationship.” He nodded and then started talking. As I expected, he knew the chapters but didn’t have all the verses, much less the annotations that made up the composite story of my life. He took another sip from his glass, looked at Maximus, then began speaking.

“You obviously aren’t aware of it, but I know the chairman of the Psychology Department at SMU. I called him at home yesterday. I know that you have a Ph.D. in Forensic Psychology, and you’re an associate professor at SMU. You were in the Army from 1988 until 1995; you earned your doctorate while you were in. Rank of Captain on discharge. From the Army you went into the Behavioral Sciences Unit at Quantico and were there for three years. Left suddenly in the fall of ’98 but I don’t know why. There was a husband along the way and you divorced in 2000. Again, I don’t know why and may not need to; your marriage and divorce are no concern of mine unless they were somehow tied to your ability to maintain security. I’ve been divorced and don’t appreciate people asking questions about my marriage. You’ve been at SMU since fall of 1999; you’re respected by your colleagues and students line up to get into your classes. You want to fill in the blanks for me?” I looked at him for a long moment before I spoke.

“You have the Cliff Notes. Terry, I’ve always been very focused. I knew in high school that I wanted to be a psychologist and I made damned sure that my teachers knew it because I wanted to know that when the colleges I applied to called for references – and they do call – that I was remembered. I was accepted to the University of Minnesota’s program and started there in August of 1985. I was 17 – young for college, but I also started grammar school at the age of five. I went into ROTC as an undergrad because that gave me a more or less automatic in to the Army and military service was the only way I could finance my graduate education. I spent three years in Minnesota, taking classes year round, and entered active duty two days after graduation. The Army put me through my Ph.D. at warp speed and released me to the FBI’s Behavioral Sciences Unit to finish my obligation to the Feds. I met my ex while I was in the Army and on TDY to Saudi Arabia; we married six months later. The six months I spent in Saudi Arabia was probably the best experience of my life up to that point.”

“The reason I left Quantico was because a child died on my watch. I was the profiler on her case and I didn’t make clear to the rest of the team that if they went in suddenly, the kidnapper would kill her. I left my husband a year after I started teaching at SMU; I couldn’t get past the death of that child and my husband got tired of picking up the pieces even though I spent a year in therapy after leaving Quantico before I went to work at SMU. Within the last few years, I have finally come to terms with her death. I’ve dated since my divorce, but not extensively …an attorney for a short time, a dog breeder I met at a dog show and a surgeon. That last relationship lasted the longest; we broke off the romantic attachment but continued seeing each other occasionally for dinner or a movie. That stopped shortly after I met Max and I’ve not seen him since. I’ll send their names and all contact information that I have in with Max tomorrow; you’re welcome to call any or all of them. All I can tell you or anyone else is that I have absolutely nothing to hide and the closet thing I have to an agenda is Max. Anything else you want to know right now?” He looked down at his hands and then back up.

“Yes. Tell me anytime you’ve ever been late on a mortgage payment, any late payments on your credit cards, any past due bills on your cable TV, any speeding tickets, problems getting a loan for a car. I’ve run a cursory credit check on you but that never tells the whole story. Anything financial, Reagan. Dino’s looking for the money trail because at this point, he thinks that’s what you’re after …sorry, Max, but you know that as well as I do. What you tell me won’t leave this room other than to get Dino off your back and I won’t use it with him unless I have to …but if there’s a single bone in your closet, I need to know about it.” I smiled.

“Checks …well, when I cut my hair off a couple of months ago, my hairdresser and I were running our mouths when I wrote the check. I walked out without tearing it out of my checkbook. I found it when I went to write a check at the supermarket on my way home. I called her – at home – and took it in as soon as she opened the next morning.”

“You’ve never had an overdraft? Never bounced a check?”

“Never been overdrawn, never bounced a check; I can add and subtract very well, Terry. I do thank God for electronic funds transfer, or I probably would have had at least a late payment.” He looked at Maximus.

“You’ve been pretty quiet through all this, Max.”

“I know that Reagan’s only motive is our love and our future; she has nothing to prove to me. You and Dino are the ones she must convince of her motives. Clearly, she must prove to you that they are genuine and in no way financial, though I still believe that it is in no way necessary for her to prove anything. She is an honourable woman, exactly what she appears to be. As a man, I am in awe that she cares enough for me to submit to the indignities she has endured this day.” I looked at Terry and pulled a copy of my CV from my bag, standing as I handed it to him; I had developed a headache and wanted to go home and these two needed to talk without my presence.

“Here’s a copy of my CV, with references both personal and professional. They will answer any questions you put to them. I know you and Max have things to discuss, and you need to do so without me present. If you will excuse me now, I’m exhausted and have a crashing headache. I’m going home. If you have questions – and I know you will – you know where to find me.” I leaned down and kissed Max even as he stood to meet me and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind me.

TERRY

“Max, you’re thinking with your heart, mate. You’re no good to me at this point because you’ve lost your objectivity, assuming you ever had any where Reagan is concerned, and you’re out of the loop on this until further notice. Pursuant to that, I’m totally pissed that you didn’t tell me about Reagan sooner. Dino and I’ve had our fun but, since waking up in this life, neither of us have allowed ourselves to have anything close to a serious relationship because we didn’t think the risk was worth it. I respect that you love this woman but I want you to think seriously tonight and reevaluate this entire relationship and make damned sure that she’s worth putting all our heads in the noose. Neither Dino nor I would spend more than 48 hours with a woman without telling you or without investigating her covertly in some way ourselves.” I looked across the coffee table at him before continuing.

“Max, our lives – our professional lives – are hard on any sort of a relationship. Even a one-night stand is dicey. Reagan’s in all the way because she knows who we are and we can’t let her go now even if you wanted to end the relationship.” He started to say something but I put up my hand to stop him. “No, don’t answer me now. Today you’re thinking with your heart; I need you think with your head. Think about what it would do to her – aside from her grief - if you were to be killed in some third world country. What about this time travel bit? All we have is Nash’s conjecture as to how we got here. What if you get sucked out of today and tossed out somewhere in the future? We don’t have a clue as to how this works. We have no assurance of stability.” Max’s voice was low and full of pain when he answered.

“Terry, if we built our lives on what is assured, on what is strictly known to us, we would accomplish nothing in this life. We live for today and beseech the gods that we have a tomorrow.” I had hoped it wouldn’t be necessary to grill him like he was a terrorist I’d managed to pull into my net but he wasn’t giving me much of a choice. I stood and paced the lounge for a few tics, then turned back to him and hit him with the questions in rapid fire.

“Max, what the hell do you really know about Reagan? How much in depth knowledge do you actually have of her? Do you know her favourite flower or her favourite colour? Any idea why her marriage broke up?” He looked up at me, disgust clear on his face as he answered.

“Her favourite flowers are Saint Patrick roses and they are pale green; her favourite color, emerald green. Her fragrance is Chanel 19; I have not asked but there is only one bottle of fragrance on her bureau and I made the logical deduction. I have no idea why her marriage broke up; I did not consider it my business to ask.” Okay, so he’d figured out what fucking perfume she wore.

“She was wearing black jeans and a black turtle-neck jumper today …it’s the end of July and hot as hell outdoors. Does she dress like that all the time?”

“More often than not, she does.”

“Have you any idea why? Doesn’t it seem a bit strange to you that a looker like Reagan chooses to dress down like a 1960s hippie? What about the ex-husband? Is she still in contact with him? Do you know his name or what he does? She said she met him while she was TDY to Saudi Arabia. Is he with the Feds? Is he military and if so, what branch? Army? Air Force? Marines? Hell, the U. S. Navy was teaching the Saudis how to fire ASROCs from 1979 forward. Is he private industry? What, Max?” He was now sitting with his forearms on his thighs, hands hanging between his knees, head tilted to look up at me.

“I have no answer for any of those questions.”

“I thought not. Has it occurred to you that you may be a replacement for the ex or that you’re so diametrically opposite him that she’s running to you as a safe haven? Do you know for sure that she’s absolutely faithful to you …and while I’m on that subject, just who the hell was the woman Dino saw you having lunch with at Jeroboam?” He gave me a sardonic look.

“She is Reagan’s best friend; the rest is not your business, Terry.”

“Like hell it isn’t. Everything about this woman is my business – and Dino’s and the business of every single one of the rest of us – as much as it is yours and if you haven’t made it your business to get a few answers, you’re not as smart as I’ve credited you with being.” That got me an eat-shit-and-die look.

“I asked earlier what would happen to her if you got killed …Max, me old mate, Reagan’s in, whether we like it or not and, if anything happens to you, the rest of us can’t let her out of our sight …not ever, not for the rest of her fucking life. So what happens to her? She’s a damned good looking woman, pal, and if you think for one minute that the others wouldn’t move in on her, you’re a fool. You want her passed around amongst them like one of the camp followers from your army days?” He was on his feet so fast that his fist connected with my jaw before I ever saw it coming. I stumbled back and fell over the wing chair, collapsed into it and just sat there and looked at him. He was breathing hard but not from exertion; this was from pure, white-hot rage. He stood there clenching and unclenching his fists for several seconds before he spoke and let me assure you, silence from Max is deadlier than a full frontal attack from Hando.

“Do not EVER speak of her in those terms. She would take her own life before she would submit to such indignity.” Well, I suppose that could happen but he still needed to think about what could happen to her before she got round to that decision.

“Max, we don’t know anything about how – or why – all of us got here. All we have is Nash’s theory that it has something to do with time travel and he doesn’t fully understand the theory; no one does. He’s basing his conclusions on Steven Hawking’s theory and Hawking isn’t up to answering many questions these days. What about the possibility that if one of us dies, we all die? Or we all disappear? Given that she’s in our midst now, is she subject to whatever cosmic forces hold us here …wherever the hell ‘here’ is and I have no fucking clue as to how to answer that question. If I die tomorrow, will the rest of you still be here? Will those who came before me all die? Will the ones who arrived after me die? Who the fuck knows, Max?” He sat heavily on the couch and looked at me wearily, his rage dissipated. Given that he was calm for the moment, I pressed whatever advantage I might have gained.

“She’s amazingly financially secure for a woman her age and academics don’t make that much money. Where did that financial security come from? Did she get a whopping big settlement when she left her ex? Is she independently wealthy? Christ, man, she could be a terrorist or drug dealer for all we know. Did you never stop to ask yourself one single question about her or have you been thinking with your dick from the moment you met her …and just where the hell did you meet her, anyway?” That brought up something else I’d not considered and the implications were staggering. “Just when did you tell her about us? Please don’t tell me it was the day you met her or the first time you took her to bed.” The muscles in his jaw twitched visibly with that last question and I knew I’d hit a raw nerve. Christ, just where did he meet her and how long had she known about us?

“What would you do if you came home earlier from an assignment than she anticipated and you found her in your bed, with another man? What would you do about that one, pal?” His head snapped up with that and his eyes flashed.

“I would kill them both and you well know it, Terry.”

“Well that’s just great, Max. You off your sheila and the bloke with her and bring the police down on our heads. Or are you so good at disposing of bodies and covering your tracks that you think no one would ever figure out what happened? Think, man!” He ran one hand down his jaw before he spoke and stood when he did.

“Terry, I appreciate your concern and, after a fashion, Dino’s. However, what is between a man and his woman is private and not your business. Reagan and I will sort out what we must; I will put to her the questions for which I have no answers and which you deem imperative and will report to you tomorrow. For now, I think it best you leave before one of us says something that will irreparably damage our personal and professional relationships.” He walked to the door, opened it and turned back to me. I followed and turned to look at him before leaving.

“Max, I know that you love her and I respect that …and for what it’s worth, I think she feels as strongly for you as you do for her. I hope you know me – and Dino - well enough to know that but for the safety of all of us, neither of us would have ever considered putting you and Reagan through what we have today. We have to be sure of her, Max; there’s no other option.” I stuck out my hand, having no idea if he would shake it or use it as a lever to toss me out the door. In truth, I was more than a bit surprised when he opted for the former.

“I thank you for your concern for Reagan and myself, and for all of us, Terry. I will see you tomorrow.” I didn’t get more than three steps down the hall before I heard the crash.

MAXIMUS

There have been few times in my life when I felt that I could take pleasure in the taking of a life; this was one of those times. Given that such behaviour was patently ill advised, I turned my wrath on the first thing to hand - the television set - picked it up and hurled it with all my strength against the far brick wall of the lounge. While it did not take the place of wanting to plant my fist in both my partners’ faces, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces was nonetheless viscerally satisfying.

I spent the better part of an hour pacing back and forth across the lounge, thoughts swooping through my head like carrion birds on a battlefield. I wished nothing more than to be alone this night but I had promised Terry that I would obtain answers to his questions and report to him on the morrow. I got my keys from the bureau, went downstairs to the parking garage and left for Cassandra’s home. When she opened the door to me, her face was white, her eyes huge and dark. She said nothing as she stood aside to allow me entry. It was as if we did not know each other at all. When at last she spoke, her voice was little more than a whisper as she turned away from me on her way to the kitchen.

“I’ll make drinks. We both need one.” I sat heavily on the couch and leant forward, elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. She reappeared a few moments later and sat – not beside me – but in the small rocking chair she had favoured when first we met. The fact that she chose not to sit next to me caused me more pain than I would have imagined possible. She handed me my drink and I looked across at her.

“Cara, I do not know what to say to you. I had no idea that what I perceived as reasonable questions would turn so bitter …no idea that you would be so cruelly abused by one of my partners.” She started to speak and I waved her to silence before I lost the courage to say what I knew I must. “I understand that you are wounded, grievously so, and there is little – if anything – I can say to assuage your pain. I should have come to your defense and I did not. I have failed you when you most needed my support and that is unforgivable. In your position, I would walk away and never look on my face again.” I drained my glass and stood, turning to her one last time before I walked out of her life.

“Know that I owe you more than I can say, that my heart is yours and will be until I draw my last breath and beyond that, into the afterlife. You have given me more than I deserve and I thank you. I will love you always, Cara, but I will trouble you no more.” She caught my arm just as I reached the door.

“Maximus …is that what you think? That the words of two men who do not know your heart or mine could make me think less of you? That their words could diminish my love for you? Have you so little faith in me and the love I bear you?” Tears started in her eyes, tears of pain held back until this moment. “Can you not forgive yourself for things over which you have no control? Do you value me so little that you can walk away from me, when I need you as much as the air that I breathe?” My heart leapt in my chest and for a moment I could not speak.

“You do not wish me to go? When my silence allowed two men who know nothing of us to use you so cruelly?” She lay her head upon my breast, speaking softly through her tears.

“If you go, my life will have no meaning. All that I am, all that I will ever be or have ever wished to be is in your hands. Their words mean nothing …words cannot diminish what we feel or the love we bear each other. We can leave, go away where they can never find us. I don’t care where we are or how we live, as long as we’re together.” I had been frozen in place until her last words, only then finding the strength and will to pull her tightly to me and hold her. She did not wish me to go and did not care for the thoughts and words of others. I raised my head toward the heavens and breathed a prayer of thanks to the gods before looking down at her and raising her face to mine.

“Cara, I would leave you only if I believed you wished it, never of my own volition. I could not conceive that you would still care for me after this day.” Her eyes looked steadily into mine.

“All I need in this life is you, Maximus. Our love will sustain us through their fear of me and, in time, they will find that all I want or need in this life is you and our love. I will answer whatever questions they have and they can check every source, every reference they can conceive of and will find nothing because I have nothing to hide. I have no desire for their money or what I might earn if I chose to exploit what I know. Money isn’t important to me and never has been. In time they will realize that and leave us in peace.” She took a deep breath and continued.

“Maximus, I’m not angry at either Terry or Dino. What they did today, they did out of fear …fear of exposure, of exploitation and their need for all of you to live your lives in peace. Dino’s method was crude but I understand why he approached me in the way he did. If I had been hiding something, if I were in it for the money as he suggested, his behavior would likely have broken my resolve. That didn’t happen and it never will because I have nothing to hide. I know after I left that Terry bombarded you with questions; I need to know what those questions are so that I can answer them to the best of my ability.” She pulled me with her back to the lounge and onto the couch where I sat and pulled her onto my lap, holding her closely. When I spoke, my decision was final.

“They will not separate us – not now, not ever. Later in this night we will deal with their questions; now we deal with our love.” Her eyes closed as my lips claimed hers.

NOTES