The Silver Lining
by
Pioneer Woman
This
work of adult fiction, loosely based on
characters portrayed by Russell Crowe, includes adult language and
experiences;
you have been warned. No
copyright
infringement on the original work is intended.
Copyright
Pioneer Woman
2006.
Author’s
Note: This story borrows the character known as
“The Man” from the movie The
Silver Brumby.
To those of us who love that movie dearly, we
also know him as Egan. I would like to
extend a special thanks to my dear friend B, who shares with me a love
for that
character and assisted me in the writing of this story.
“It’s
OK, Girl,” I soothed my horse, as I
rubbed her shoulder and then eased my hand down her leg to feel for
damage. She lifted
her foot for me at
the slightest pressure, so I knew she was hurting.
Nothing to be done about it but turn around
and go home. On
foot. I sighed,
“I can make it, if you can, Baby
Girl.”
She
tossed her head, snorted at me, and then
started backing up. I
stood and realized
she was watching something, or someone, so I followed her gaze. A man on a black horse was
riding toward us
with a dog at his side. I
wasn’t sure if
I should be glad or scared at the sight of him.
“G’day,”
the stranger tipped his hat at me as
he rode up. “Saw
your horse
stumble. She lame,
is she?”
My
breath caught as he dismounted, and I got
a good look at him. Tall,
lean, well
muscled, tanned. Not
that unusual for
this part of the world, but his face!
So
ruggedly handsome that I felt a lump in my throat.
He wore a well-trimmed goatee that matched
his chestnut hair. I
could see little
curls creeping out from the edges of his hat.
Then our eyes met. I
saw those
pools of sea green, and I blushed.
He
ignored my inability to answer him and
walked over to look at her leg himself.
She let him feel it, just as she had with me. I was still trying to form
some type of
coherent response when he stood up and looked at me squarely. His hands on his hips and
head tilted, he
seemed to be studying me.
“Not
good, is it?” I
finally stammered.
“No,”
he shook his head. “She
has no business walking very far on
it. Where
‘bouts you headed?”
“Back
home now, I suppose.” I
tried to sound like I was in control.
“I’ll just lead her.”
“How
far is home?”
“Do
you know where the old Tucker place
is?” He
nodded at my question. “I
bought it.”
He
raised his brows in surprise. “When?
Was still empty when I came up here.”
“Just
moved in last month,” I admitted.
“I was out riding to have a look around. Guess I
shouldn’t have gone quite so far from
home.”
“You
can’t walk back that far,” he stated
matter of factly. “You
won’t make it
before nightfall on foot. Not
safe for
you to be out here alone.”
“Well,”
I shrugged, “I don’t see that I have
much of a choice …I can’t ride her home.”
“Let
me take her,” he grabbed the reins.
“You can ride Echo …that’s
my horse over
there. I’ll
take you up to my hut. I
have an extra horse. You
can borrow her to ride home.”
I
was amazed, “You don’t even know me
….”
“I
reckon I do now,” he winked, “and if
you’re at the Tucker place, then we’re
neighbors.”
I
mounted his horse as he had requested.
“Neighbors?”
He
began walking and leading my bay
mare. “Have
you met the Patterson’s
yet?”
“Oh,
yes!”
I laughed. “They
almost met me at
the front door when I moved in.
Wonderful people.”
“That’s
my mum and dad,” he informed me.
“So, I reckon it’s safe to lend you my
horse.”
I
let his words sink in. “You’re
Egan?
Egan Patterson!”
He
nodded but didn’t look back.
“Oh,”
I cleared my throat, “I’m sorry, I’m
Abby. Abby
Harmon.”
He
looked up.
“Glad to meet you, Abby.
And yes,
I’m Egan. I
reckon that means you’ve
heard about me.”
“Yes,
I ….”
I caught myself.
“You
what?”
“You’re
nothing like I imagined. I’ve
met your brother and sisters. You
don’t look a bit like them.”
“So
people say.” He
was still walking, and I could see a
little tin roof coming into view.
“You
have a lovely family.” I
was making small talk now, my mind churning
with the events of the past few minutes.
“Thank
you,” he answered. “You
imagined
me?”
I
flushed when he put it that way. “All
right, I’ll finish my sentence.
I didn’t imagine you to be like this at
all.”
“And
how did you imagine me?”
He was teasing me, and I knew it.
“A
cross between an ogre and a black sheep, I
suppose,” I answered honestly.
“And you
appear to be neither.”
“Well,”
he looked up at me, “you’re honest,
aren’t you?”
I
shrugged.
“Who
you been listening to?”
“Well,”
I confessed, “I’m a writer.
That’s how I found out about the Tucker
place. I was
working in Melbourne
and met Mrs. Mitchell. She
told me about the place when she found
out I was looking. I’ve
spent some time
with her daughter, Indy. She’s
not
exactly fond of you, you know.”
“Don’t
believe everything you hear,” he
advised, as he brought us up to the small hut with a corral in front of
it. There was a
beautiful palomino mare
watching us.
I
got down and handed him the reins.
“She’s gorgeous.
Is this ….”
“Golden,”
he answered. “She
came back to me. Couldn’t
convince her filly to come
though. She was old
enough she’d taken
up with a stallion, and she wasn’t having anything to do with
me. I reckoned I
wasn’t going to push her.”
I
looked at him when he said that. “You
say that like you mean it.”
“I
do,” he gave me a half smile.
“I learned from my mistakes.”
*
I
brushed out the pretty palomino mare and
thought about what had happened. Indy
had told me this long tale of a man who had ruthlessly chased a silver
stallion
to his death. She
had made him sound
cruel and uncaring. Then
I had met his
family, all of them warm and loving, and easy to get along with. I had resolved in my mind
that he must be the
black sheep of the family. That
perhaps
the reason he spent much of his time in the mountains was because he
was
antisocial and irascible.
The
man I had met today had been gentle and
kind, and quite sensitive to the needs of my horse and me. I could still see his
smile and the twinkle
in his eyes. I
could still hear the
timbre of his voice, and the memory gave me goose bumps. I made up my mind, then
and there, that I was
going to have to get to know Egan Patterson better, so I could find out
for
myself what kind of man he really
was.
*
That
Saturday morning was particularly hot
and the idea of riding up into the mountains where it was cooler seemed
very
appealing. We had
agreed that I would
wait at least a week to ride back up and check on my mare’s
leg. This seemed
like a good day to do it. I
gathered up some essentials and set out on
Golden toward the majestic mountains that spread out before me. The cool mountain air was
refreshing, and I
barely had to urge Golden along, as she realized where we were heading. It was late afternoon when
we approached the
corral where my mare, Jewel, whinnied to greet me.
Echo was nowhere in sight.
I
got down and took Golden into the corral to
brush her down and care for her. Since
the dog, Coolie, didn’t come to greet me, I assumed that Egan
was away. I found
everything I needed and put away the
tack, then hesitantly went up to the hut.
“Egan,”
I called, knocking on the door. “Are
you in there?”
There
was no answer, so I opened the door and
went in. Neat as a
pin, just like the
last time I had been here. I
walked
around and had a closer look – something I hadn’t
been able to do when he was
there with me. This
man was obviously meticulous
and clean. No dirty
dishes lying
about. No dirty
clothes over chairs. The
small bed was made neatly with a quilt
tucked in over it. And
the cabin smelled
…like him.
“G’day,”
he spoke from behind me, and I
nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Jeez!”
I turned around, putting my hand over my heart. “You nearly
scared me to death. You
walk like a cat.”
“Sorry,”
he chuckled, “but it is
my hut …you might expect to find me
here.”
“Yes,”
I laughed. “I
hope you don’t mind that I let myself
in. I was hoping
you’d be back
soon. My mare looks
like she’s back to
herself now.”
“Good
as new.” He
walked over and poured some water out into
the basin to wash himself. “I
reckon she
can make it back now. Golden
didn’t give
you any trouble, did she?”
“Not
a bit,” I smiled, watching him run his
hands through his thick hair. “She’s
a
wonderful horse. Thank
you for letting
me borrow her …and for taking care of Jewel for
me.”
“No
worries,” he shrugged. “She
was easy. Just
needed to rest it a bit. I
reckon you’ll be wanting to leave straight
away, so you make it back down the mountain before nightfall.”
I
suddenly heard a voice screaming in my
head, ‘No, I don’t want
to leave yet!’ I
guess I swallowed hard and hesitated.
“Are
you all right, Abby?”
“Yes,”
I took a deep breath. “You’re
right. I need to
leave. I can see
why you like it up here in the
summers. It’s
dreadfully hot at home
right now.”
He
smiled, “I’d invite you to stay, but I
don’t think that would be proper, do you?”
I
felt myself blush, “No, of course not …I
didn’t mean …I just …oh never
mind.”
He
chuckled and walked back outside to help
me get my mare saddled. I
watched him
from behind and wondered what it would be like to stay up here with him. Then I scolded myself for
having such
thoughts. It had
been a long time since
I’d had those kinds of thoughts about a man.
“There
she is,” he turned around, “saddled
and ready to take you home. Look
out for
those wombat holes next time.”
“I
will,” I smiled as he helped me up, his
strong hands giving me the slightest boost.
His touch sent shivers down my spine.
“Take
care, now,” he nodded and stepped
back. “Don’t
waste time …it’s not safe
for you to be riding around after dark.”
I
smiled at him, “I’ll be fine.
Thanks again.”
He
nodded and waved to me as I left.
I could feel his eyes on me as I rode and
fought the urge to turn and wave again.
Then, as I got further away, I had to fight the urge to
turn and ride
back to him.
*
The
summer seemed long to me. I
was still unaccustomed to the difference of
the seasons from my native home. I
had
been in Australia
for two years, but it still seemed unnatural to me for Christmas to
fall in the
summer and July to be in the middle of winter.
Old habits die hard, and no matter how much I tried to cut
my ties from
home, some things stuck with me.
I
found myself thinking of Egan Patterson
often. Looking up
the mountain and
wondering what he was doing and how he was.
I saw his family frequently, but they rarely spoke of
their eldest son. When
I had mentioned meeting him, they seemed
aloof to the fact. I
was so drawn to
this man that I wondered what secrets were hidden in that family closet.
As
fall arrived and the days began to grow
cooler, I started taking more rides to scout the area and find
inspiration for
my stories. I had
found a good place to
let my mare graze while I leaned against a tree and wrote in the
afternoon each
day. It was one
such day when Indy
Mitchell came riding her little white pony up to visit with me.
“Hello,
Indy,” I waved. “Come,
sit down, and visit with me.”
“Can’t
stay, Abby,” she shook her head.
“I just thought you’d want to know
that some
of the drovers are coming back down the mountain.
They’re bringing the cattle down. Thought you might want to
watch.”
I
jumped up, “Yes! Where
are they?”
“Follow
me,” she offered and waited for me to
get on Jewel and follow her.
She
led me to a crest where we could see the
cattle coming down in a huge herd, drovers along either side. We could hear the whips
cracking from time to
time, as they kept the cattle moving in the direction they wanted. I found myself searching
the drovers for a
man on a black horse. When
I was certain
that he was not there, I realized that I was disappointed.
We
watched for quite some time, then Indy
told me she needed to go home. “I’m
sure
someone will have a big dance soon.
They
always do when the drovers come home.
I’ll be sure to let you know when it
happens.”
“Thanks,
Sweetie,” I smiled. “I
haven’t been dancing in ages.
Sounds like fun.”
*
It
was several days later when there was a
knock at my door. I
went to answer it, a
bit absent-mindedly, and was shocked to find Egan Patterson standing
there. I caught my
breath.
“G’day,”
he smiled. “Hope
you don’t mind that I stopped by to say
hello.”
“Not
at all,” I stepped back.
“Please, come in.
I didn’t realize you’d made it home
yet ….”
“Just
did,” he confessed. “Last
night.
Thought I should be neighborly and come by to give you a
proper
welcome.”
I
smiled.
His eyes were dancing.
The sudden
realization that he was standing right there in my home made me flush.
“And
what would a proper welcome
entail?” I
tried not to let my voice
shake.
He
laughed, “Actually I came by to ask you to
go to the dance with me. My
mum tells me
that you’re not married, so it’s safe for me to
ask.”
“Married?”
I stammered, “You thought I was
married?”
He
reached over and lifted my left hand.
“Luv, you’re wearing a wedding ring. That usually means a
woman’s married.”
I
looked down. There
was my ring glaring at me. I
had never taken it off. Was
so accustomed to wearing it that I forgot
it was even there. Ironic,
considering
the circumstances.
“I’m
a widow,” I spoke softly.
“And yes, I would be happy to go to the dance
with you.”
*
The
dance was on a Saturday evening at the
home of a nearby neighbor. I
had debated
about what to wear and settled on a pink dress, with a full skirt and
short-sleeves that left my shoulders bare but had a suggestion of a
short
sleeve. I put my
long brown hair up into
a bun with pins and chose a tiny diamond pendant to wear that fell just
above
the neckline of my dress.
Egan
arrived at exactly the time he told me,
and when I opened the door, his eyes fell down me, and he smiled,
“You look
beautiful. I’ll
be the envy of all the
blokes tonight.”
I
blushed, “Thank you. I
have a feeling I’ll be making some sheilas
green, too. You
clean up quite
handsomely, Egan Patterson.”
He
offered me his arm. “Then
shall we go make them all jealous?”
I
looked down at my hand. “Wait
….”
He
watched as I tugged until my rings finally
came off, and I set them aside on a table.
“You don’t have to do that on my
account, Luv.”
“I
should’ve done it a long time ago.”
I took his arm, “Can’t run away if you
keep
carrying pieces of the past with you, can you?”
He
raised his brow at me, but let that remark
go and opened the door of his pickup for me, helping me in.
*
The
Wilson’s
had a huge ballroom in their home, designed especially for such
occasions. When we
walked in, there was a collective
gasp from the crowd already gathered, and I saw several of the young
girls
whispering amongst themselves. Egan
slid
his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, and I couldn’t
help but feel proud
to be with him. Several
of the men came
over and spoke to him, and he introduced me to each of them, although I
couldn’t remember any of their names now to save my life. I saw Indy Mitchell across
the room, and the
look on her face was a mixture of horror and contempt.
I wondered if she’d ever forgive me.
We
hadn’t been there long when Mrs. Patterson
came over and hugged her son and kissed his cheek.
She greeted me with a look of delight.
I searched the crowd for her husband and saw
him watching us. His
look was far from
one of delight. It
piqued my curiosity
further about the dynamics within his family.
“So,
Luv,” Egan took my hand, “Shall we
dance?”
“I’d
love to.” I
followed his lead and was thrilled at how
effortlessly he led me through the waltz that was playing. It had been years since I
had danced, and one
waltz had me almost breathless.
As
the music ended, he pulled me tight
against him and whispered in my ear, “That dance was worth
the summer away.”
“Egan
….”
I bit my lip, unsure how to respond.
“Come
with me.” He
led me out to a veranda. “You
look like you could use some fresh air.”
“I
forgot how much work it is to waltz,” I
confessed. “Not
that I’m complaining …I
….”
“It’s
all right.” He
leaned against the railing and looked at
me. “I
don’t dance very often
myself. I know
exactly what you mean.”
“You
dance well,” I smiled. “Thank
you for asking me tonight.”
“Want
to know a secret?”
I
nodded.
“If
you’d turned me down,” he admitted, “I
wouldn’t have come. I
usually don’t
bother with these things.”
“Why
did
you ask me?” I
wondered.
“Because
I couldn’t stand the thought of you
being here with someone else,” he stated flatly.
I
caught my breath, “But you hardly know me
….”
“I’ve
had all summer to think about you, Luv.”
He stood up and came over to me.
“And I’ve thought of nothing
else.”
“Even
though you thought I was married?”
I asked.
“Bloke
can dream, can’t he?”
He reached up and caressed my cheek.
“Seems like maybe I wasn’t the only
one
dreaming.”
I
blushed and looked down. “No.
You weren’t.
But ….”
“Shh.”
He put his arms around me and pulled me close. “It’s
all right. I
won’t push you, Luv. Like
I said …that dance was worth it all.”
I
laid my head against his broad chest and
felt his arms travel up my back. His
lips brushed against my ear, and I shivered.
At that moment all I wanted was to melt into him. To be a million miles away
from everyone and
everything and just have his arms around me.
‘You barely know this
man,’ a
voice said inside my head. I
pulled
away.
“We
should go back inside.”
I smoothed my dress.
“Whatever
you wish, Luv.” He
held out his arm, and we went back to the
festivities.
*
It
was with mixed emotions that I walked up
to my door that night on Egan’s arm.
I
was walking on air from the wonderful evening we had shared, yet I was
sad to
see it come to an end. He
must have
sensed how I was feeling.
“You
could invite me in, you know,” he smiled
and winked.
“I
could,” I bit my lip, “but I
shouldn’t. Wouldn’t
be proper, would
it?”
“No,”
he chuckled, “I reckon it
wouldn’t. Thanks
for going with me
tonight.”
“Thank
you for taking me.” I
could feel my heart racing, “Egan …I
….”
He
bent over and gently silenced me with his
kiss. My arms went
around his neck of
their own volition, and he held my waist, pulling me against him. I had dreamed of what it
would be like to
kiss him. My dreams
paled in
comparison. The
heat of his lips shot
right to my core, and I longed for him to keep kissing me. His tongue teased my mouth
open, then dove in
and danced with mine. I
could feel his
firmness as he pressed against me.
When
he pulled away, my head was spinning.
“Goodnight,
Luv,” he whispered and stepped
away from me, leaving me aching for him.
“Goodnight,”
I murmured, watching him get
into his truck and drive off into the darkness.
*
The
days passed, and I heard nothing from
him. I thought
about riding over to
visit his family but couldn’t make myself do it. The days grew colder, and
I looked around the
farm at all the things that needed to be done.
I wondered how I was going to get them done without help. I wondered what had made
me think living out
here alone was a good idea. I
wondered
if I would ever see Egan Patterson again.
*
There
was a terrible wind howling outside,
and the rain pelted against the windowpanes like gravel. Even though my house was
warm, I shivered
from the sound. There
was a huge clap of
thunder, a nearby flash of lightning, and the house went dark. No power.
Wonderful. I
went about lighting
candles so that I could see what I was doing.
I
heard the front door rattling and wasn’t
sure if it was the wind or someone actually there.
I went to see cautiously, candle in
hand. When I opened
the door to see
Egan, I gasped.
“Egan!”
I stepped back to let him in.
“You’re drenched!
Come in and
warm yourself, or you’ll catch your death.
What on earth …?”
“Not
yet, Luv,” he shook his head.
“Came to make sure you were all right. Need to get Echo out of
this. Can I put him
in your stable?”
“Yes,
of course,” I nodded. “Please
hurry back, though.”
I
watched him disappear into my stable
leading his horse. I
ran to start a pot
of coffee and find some towels for him to dry himself.
I was still scurrying around when he let himself
back in the front door.
“Here,”
I took his hat and coat. “I’ll
hang these by the fire to dry. Right
down that hall is the bath. I
set some towels out for you to dry with ….”
He
nodded and disappeared down the hall.
When he came back into the living room, he
had shed his wet shirt and riding boots.
He wore only his tan breeches, and they were still quite
wet. I handed him a
cup of coffee and reached for
a blanket to throw over his shoulders.
“What
on earth were you doing out in that
storm?” I
asked, my voice a bit
scolding.
He
squatted down next to the fire and sipped
the coffee, “Trying to beat it home.
I
didn’t make it.”
“You’ve
been gone?”
“Yeah,”
he looked up at me. “Left
the day after the dance. Went
to help a mate who had a run of bad
luck. I was on my
way home when this
storm started blowing up. Thought
I
could outrun it, but I was wrong.
Hope
you don’t mind that I stopped here.”
A
million thoughts ran through my head.
“Mind?
Of course not. I
had no idea you
were gone. I
thought …no, I’m glad you
felt like you could come here.”
He
sat his cup down and reached his arm out
to me. “Come
here, Luv. I
didn’t think to tell you I was
leaving. Sorry
about that.”
I
went to sit next to him on the floor,
cuddled in the blanket, “You don’t need to
apologize. You
don’t owe me any explanations.”
He
kissed my cheek gently. “I’m
here now. Reckon I
could convince you to let me stay on
your couch tonight? Don’t
relish the
idea of going back out into that just yet.”
I
snuggled up close, soaking in the feeling
of his warm body next to mine. “Of
course, you can stay here. I
wouldn’t
dream of throwing you back out into that.
And there’s a spare room, so you don’t
have to sleep on the couch.”
He
smiled at me, “Now that sounds even
better. Haven’t
slept on a real bed in
days. The ground
gets a bit hard after a
while.”
I
looked down and saw that my legs were
leaning against his, and I blushed.
He
chuckled, “Be careful there, Luv, you’ll
get all wet.”
“Egan!”
I pushed him back and giggled.
He
started laughing harder, and when I pushed
him again, he fell backwards, pulling me with him.
I landed directly on top of him.
My hands were on his broad bare chest, and I
was looking down into those beautiful eyes.
He ran his fingers through my loose hair and then pulled
me down into a
kiss. I could feel
his arousal against
me; I could also feel my own. His
tongue
parted my lips and delved after mine, and it seemed like I was drowning
in him.
I
pushed myself up and away from him.
He had a startled look on his face when I got
to my feet and started to leave the room.
I ran to the kitchen and leaned against the counter,
trembling.
“Abby,”
his voice was full of concern, “I’m
sorry. I
won’t lay a hand on you if you
don’t want me to.”
I
could feel tears coming, “That’s not it
…I
…Egan …I just can’t
…I’m sorry.”
He
walked over next to me but didn’t reach
out this time. “I
didn’t mean to scare
you, Luv. Are you
all right?”
I
wanted him to hold me again. I
wanted him to kiss me again. I
nodded and wiped my tears away.
“It’s
late.”
I started out of the kitchen.
“I’ll show you to your room.”
He
followed me silently and shut the door
behind me when I left. I
went to my own
room, curled up in bed, and cried myself to sleep.
*
The
birds were singing the next morning when
I woke. There were
lights on in the
house, so I knew the power had returned.
I jumped out of bed and tossed some clothes on quickly,
brushed my hair,
and hurried out to the kitchen. I
could
already smell coffee.
Egan
was dressed and pouring a cup when I
walked in. “Morning.”
“Morning,”
I greeted him. “Sorry
you had to make your own coffee …”
“No
worries.”
He handed me a cup. “Been
making
my own coffee for years, no reason to change now.
Electric is back.”
“I
noticed.”
I took the cup and sipped it.
“I’ll make you some
breakfast.”
“Have
you looked outside?” he asked.
“No,
why?”
He
raised his brows and motioned toward the
front door. I went
to see what he was
talking about and gasped. The
huge
Eucalyptus tree that had been in my front yard was split in two, and
half of it
was across my drive. I
ran out the front
door and looked around to see if there was any other damage. The stable looked ok, but
there were several
sheets of tin torn from the roof of my shed.
I
felt my throat clench, and I knew I was
going to start crying again. Then
I felt
his strong hands grip my shoulders from behind, and he spoke in gently
in my
ear. “It’ll
be ok, Luv. I’ll
stay and take care of it.”
I
turned around and looked at him. “You
will?
Why? After
….”
“Because
you need me to, that’s why,” he
smiled. “I’m
your neighbor,
remember? Now, come
on. Let’s
have some brekkie, and then I’ll get started
on it.”
It
took Egan all day to cut up the tree and
clear the drive. He
told me he’d be back
the next day to work on the roof of my shed.
I thanked him and watched him leave.
That night, I lay awake and scolded myself for wasting the
opportunity I
had been given with him. I
vowed not to
waste another one.
True
to his word, Egan arrived the following
morning not long after breakfast.
He
didn’t even stop in to say ‘hello,’ just
went straight to work. It
was a cold day, so I put on a jacket and
walked out to talk to him.
“Hello,”
I greeted him. “Is
there anything I can do to help?”
He
looked down at me. “G’day.
Naw, this tin is pretty sharp.
Wouldn’t want you to cut yourself on
it.”
“I
could stay out here and hand you things
you need,” I offered.
He
glanced back. “All
right, Luv. Just
don’t get too cold out here, OK?”
I
tried to make small talk with him as he
worked, but he mostly answered my questions with
‘Yes’ or ’No’ and kept
working. I finally
fell silent and just
watched him work. His
dog was with him,
as always, and he sat at my feet and enjoyed the attention I gave him.
I
had sort of slipped off into a distant
world of thought when I heard him raise his voice to me. “Abby
…could you do that for me, please?”
“Huh?”
I looked up. “Oh,
I’m sorry. What
was it you needed?”
“In
the back of my truck,” he repeated,
“there are some more nails.
Could you
fetch them for me?”
“Sure.”
I hurried to do as he bid and returned with the bag of
nails. “Here.”
He
reached down and took them from me.
“Thanks, Luv.
Where were you just then?
You
seemed like you were a million miles away.”
“I’m
sorry,” I sighed. “I
was just thinking about something.
Are you getting hungry?
I could make us some lunch.”
“That
sounds like a fine idea,” he
smiled. “I
could use a break.”
“I’ll
go fix us something then.”
I hurried back into the house and started on
lunch.
I
heard him come in and make his way back to
the bath to wash up. I
had the
sandwiches on the table and some soup heated up by the time he entered
the
kitchen.
“Smells
good.” He
sat down.
“Thanks.”
I took my seat across from him.
“Egan …about the other night
….”
He
looked up at me. “It’s
forgotten.”
I
drew a deep breath. “I
don’t want it to be forgotten.”
“Well,
what do you want then?”
“I
want another chance.” I
said it before I could back out. “I
won’t get scared again …I promise.”
He
raised a brow at me. “How
do you know?”
I
sighed.
“OK, I don’t know.
Maybe I can’t
promise you that. I
just …all
right. Forget it
then. Forget me.
I’m going to sell this place and leave here,
anyway.”
“Sell
it?”
He stopped eating. “You
just
bought it! Abby,
what’s this all
about? Tell me
straight out. You
said you were running from
something. I think
you’d best tell me
what. Maybe I can
help you.”
I
looked him in the eye. “Can
I trust you? I mean
really
trust you?”
He
nodded.
“I
killed him, Egan.” I
said softly. “I
killed my husband.”
Egan
pushed his food back and looked at
me. It
isn’t everyday someone confesses
murder to you. I
waited for him to say
something …anything. He
just stared at
me for several minutes.
Finally,
he swallowed hard, “Why don’t you
start from the beginning.”
“OK.”
I got up and started pacing as I talked.
“I grew up on a farm with my brothers.
Our mother died when I was fourteen, and my father went a
bit
crazy. My brothers
were all gone and
married by then, so they didn’t see it like I did. I gave my father a lot of
leeway because I
understood how hard it was for him to lose my mother.
And most of the time he was fine, but
sometimes he would do really strange things.
“Anyway,”
I went on, “when I was sixteen, he
came home one day with this stranger.
This man was about his age, and I’d never seen
him before. My
father told me that he had lost me in a
bet to this man and that I had to go with him and marry him!”
“What?”
“I
thought he was joking at first,” I
nodded. “But
he wasn’t. I
tried to get out of it. I
argued, begged, everything I could think
of. But short of
running flat out, right
then and there, I seemed to have no choice.
It was the dead of winter and there was snow on the
ground, or I might
have tried running. So,
I ended up
leaving with the man, and he took me to a Justice of the Peace, and we
were
married.
“My
head was spinning, and I kept thinking
I’d wake up, and it would just be a terrible
dream,” I explained, “but I didn’t
wake up. It was
real. The only good
side of it was that he had
money. He gambled a
lot, and he won a
lot. He also came
home drunk and mean
lots of times. This
went on for years,
Egan. I tried to
run away a couple of
times, but by then my father had died, and I had nowhere to go. My husband always found
me, and he would beat
me terribly when he did.”
Egan
got up and came over to where I
stood. He put his
arms around me, and I
let him. I stood
there with him for a
moment before I went back to my story.
“I started writing while I was home alone. I wrote stories and sent
them all over, and
eventually I started getting them published.
That’s when I decided that I was going to try to
run one last time.”
“What
happened?”
“I
had started saving up money,” I
confessed. “But
it ended up that I
hadn’t needed to. He
came home one night
even drunker than usual. I
was at the top
of the staircase, and he saw me and made a run up the stairs at me. This time I was ready for
him, and I kicked his
legs out from under him. He
fell back
down the stairs and hit his head.
It
killed him. The
police didn’t even
investigate. They
just believed me when
I said he was drunk and fell.”
“And
you came here?”
“Yes,”
I nodded. “I
wanted to get as far away from all of that
as I could. So I
came down here and
started writing. I
had enough money from
him that I could buy this place …but now
….”
“Now
what?”
“I
can’t do this by myself, Egan,” I looked
up at him. “I
was crazy to think I
could. This is no
place for a woman to
be on her own.”
He
pulled me back into his arms, “You’re not
on your own. You’ve
got me here to help
you. And I will. I’ll be right
here …I promise.”
*
He
kept his promise. Egan
came by to check on me at least every
other day, and when there was heavy work to be done, he did it. He never made mention of
what I had told him
about my husband, but he also didn’t make any more overtures
toward me. I
resigned myself to the fact that he would
be a good neighbor to me, perhaps my friend, but never anything more. I told myself that I could
be happy with
that. That it was
more than I ever
expected to have in my life and more than I deserved.
The
days passed, and winter began to fade
into warm spring days. I
knew the
inevitable was approaching. The
drovers
would be taking the cattle back up into the mountains, and Egan would
be going
with them. It was a
beautiful day when
he rode up to my house with his bedroll on Echo and Golden tied behind
him with
packs. I
didn’t have to ask where he was
going.
“Morning,”
I smiled from my porch.
“Morning,”
he hopped down and tied the reins
to the fence rail. “I’m
heading up the
mountain. Is there
anything you need
before I leave?”
I
bit my tongue to keep from saying
‘You’. Instead
I shook my head. “I’m
sure I’ll get by somehow.
I did last summer.”
“If
you need help,” he instructed me, “tell
my mum and dad. They’ll
help you. My
brother is old enough to do the work.”
I
nodded.
“You be careful up there, OK?
And
enjoy it.”
“I’ll
be fine,” he smiled and started to turn
to leave. “I’ll
be back in the fall.”
I
suddenly found myself running after
him. “Egan
…wait!”
He
turned just in time to catch me as I flew
into his arms and kissed his neck.
He
tipped my face up and looked into my eyes, then covered my lips with
his, in a
kiss that heated me to my core. When
he
let me go, I was breathless.
“Take
care of yourself, Luv,” he winked.
“I’ll be back.”
*
I
was busy writing one day when Indy Mitchell
came riding up to my house at a gallop, “Abby!
Have you heard?”
“Heard
what?”
I looked up.
“Mrs.
Patterson,” she panted, “she’s taken
ill. She may die,
Mum says!”
“Die?”
I gasped. “What’s
wrong with
her?”
“They
don’t know,” she reported.
“She’s got a high fever, and
she’s out of her
head.”
“I’ll
leave right away.” I
tossed my things in the house and went to
the corral to saddle my horse to ride over and see if I could be of
help.
Indy
hadn’t exaggerated at all.
Mrs. Patterson was certainly out of her head,
but I could see the cause right away.
She had a terrible cut on her leg that was obviously
deeply
infected. The
doctor had been there and
done what he could to make her comfortable, but he hadn’t
given the family much
hope that she would recover. I
made the
decision to take matters into my own hands.
I
slipped out without anyone realizing it and
started the ride up the mountain.
It was
nearly dark by the time I reached the hut.
The air was much cooler, and I realized I hadn’t
even brought a
jacket. I could see
the smoke rising
from the fire inside, and Jewel whinnied to the horses she considered
her
friends. I heard
Coolie bark from
inside, and Egan came to the door to see why.
“Abby?!”
he called, “is that you?”
“Yes.”
I jumped down, and he ran over to embrace me.
“What
on earth are you doing up here?”
“Egan,”
I dropped the reins, and my mare
stood as she had been trained to do.
“I
have some bad news for you. I
thought
you should know ….”
“What
is it?”
He held my shoulders.
“It’s
your mother,” I informed him, “she’s
very ill. She may
not make it.”
His
face clouded as my news sunk in. “All
right.
I’ll see to your mare.
You go in
by the fire and warm yourself. I’ll
be
back in a bit.”
I
did as he asked, grateful for the warmth of
the fire. There was
a pot of coffee, so
I poured myself a cup and waited for his return.
When he came back in, he sat down on the
small bench near the fire and motioned for me to sit next to him.
“Tell
me what you know,” he requested.
I
reported everything I had to tell, and he
listened intently. Then
he sighed and
put his arm around me, “Thank you for coming up here. Dad would never have
thought to tell me. It’s
too late to ride down tonight. We’ll
go back down first thing in the
morning.”
“Why
wouldn’t he think to tell you this,
Egan?” I
pried.
“We
all have our secrets. Even
my mum.”
“What
does that mean?”
“It
means that there’s a reason my dad treats
me like the black sheep,” he confided.
“It’s because I’m not really
his son.”
“Oh,”
I let that sink in. “So
that’s why you don’t look like him.”
He
nodded.
“He’s not been mean to me, but he
doesn’t treat me like I’m his own,
either. But she is my mum.
And I do intend
to be there for her.”
“I’ll
do whatever I can to help, too,” I
offered.
“I
know you will, Luv,” he kissed my
cheek. “Now
let me get you a place fixed
to sleep, and we’ll get some rest so we can head down at
first light.”
Fixing
me a place to sleep entailed him
trying to fluff up his own bed for me and then spreading a horse
blanket on the
floor for himself. I
started to protest,
but he silenced me with one of his mind-numbing kisses, then shepherded
me to
the bed and tucked me in.
I’m
a light sleeper, so when he got up during
the night and went outside it woke me.
The hut was cold, so I grabbed his sweater and pulled it
on over my
clothes and went out to find him.
He was
leaning on the corral, petting Golden.
I
could hear him speaking to her in soft tones, and she nuzzled him in
response.
“Trouble
sleeping?” I asked, walking up next
to him.
“Sorry,
Luv,” he put his arm around my
shoulders and pulled me close. “I
came
out here to keep from waking you.
Reckon
it didn’t work.”
“I
don’t mind riding down right now, if
that’s what you want,” I offered.
“No,”
he shook his head. “It’ll
wait a few more hours. It’s
tough going at night. Lots
of wombat holes, remember?”
“Mmmm,”
I moved around so that I was in front
of him and wrapped my arms around his neck, “though now
I’m kind of glad my
horse stepped in that hole.”
He
smiled down at me. “So
am I.
A happy accident, I’d say.”
I
giggled, then remembered why I was
there. “Egan,
if you need to talk, I’ll
listen. Lord knows
you’ve been there for
me enough times.”
“Nothing
to talk about really,” he
shrugged. “But
I reckon since you’re
awake now, we could go back inside by the fire.”
He
led me in and then went to throw some more
wood on and stir the fire up. I
went to
sit on the edge of the bed and watched him.
When he stood up and turned around, he looked over at the
bench,
hesitated, then came and sat next to me on the bed.
“Still
cold?”
He put his arm around me.
I
nodded and snuggled closer. “Warm
me up?”
His
brows raised and he smiled, “Where did
that come from?”
I
blushed, “From missing you.
I’ve been kicking myself over and over again,
Egan. I wish
I’d never gotten so scared
and bolted like I did. I
know you
wouldn’t have hurt me.”
He
studied me for a moment then lifted his
hand to caress my cheek. “Let
me show
you how it should be, Abby.”
I
just nodded and swallowed hard. His
lips came down over mine, and I melted
into him as he gently leaned me back onto the bed.
He trailed soft, hot kisses down my neck as
his hands slid beneath the sweater and searched for my shirt. I felt the buttons give
way, and his callused
fingers began to tease my nipples.
I had
never been with a man I desired before, so every sensation was new and
exciting
to me.
When
he stopped kissing me and raised up
enough to lift the sweater over my head, I could see how dark his eyes
were
with passion. I
felt a hunger rising in
myself that I had never had before, and I fumbled to unbutton his shirt. He smiled and helped me,
then stood to let
his pants fall to the floor. His
hands
gently unfastened my jeans and eased them down.
He stopped along the way to kiss my thighs and knees and
calves, and I
heard my own voice moaning his name ....
*
When
Egan and I rode up to the house, his
father was walking out the door. He
glared at Egan, then looked at me.
“Shoulda
known where ya ran off to,” he
muttered.
“Good
thing someone did,” Egan jumped down
and tied Echo to the fence. He
hurried
into the house, leaving me there.
I
got down and decided to take care of the
horses. We had
brought Golden along too,
in case Egan had to stay for an extended time.
Mr. Patterson just watched as I led all three horses off
to the stable
and went about the work as if it was the most natural thing in the
world.
Egan
was sitting on the edge of his mother’s
bed when I walked in. She
was holding
his hand and talking to him, too quietly for me to understand, but I
could tell
she was at least coherent enough to recognize him.
I fleetingly wondered if this was her last
rally before she took her final breath.
He
looked up when I walked in and gave me a
faint smile. Mrs.
Patterson saw me and
tried to wave me closer.
“C’mon,
Abby,” Egan invited. “Mum
wants to see you, too.”
I
went around and sat down on the opposite
edge of the bed, and she reached for my hand, “He’s
a good man, he is ….”
I
somehow knew she meant Egan, “Yes, he is,
Mrs. Patterson. A
very good man.”
She
smiled at him and then at me. “Take
care of him, dear …he needs you.”
I
felt myself flush and looked over at
him. He
didn’t flinch when she said
that. He just
looked at me with that
steady gaze that told me he agreed with her.
I
squeezed her hand. “I
will.
Don’t you worry about a thing.”
Her
smile brightened, and she looked at
him. “See?”
He
reached up and brushed her hair from her
face. “Yes,
Mum. You’re
always right. Now
you get some rest, will you?”
She
closed her eyes and drifted off to
sleep. I got up
carefully, so I wouldn’t
wake her and tiptoed out of the room.
Egan came into the kitchen to find me.
“She
is
right.” He
put his arms around me from
behind and whispered in my ear, “I do need you to look after
me. Did you mean
what you told her? Will
you really do it?”
I
turned around in his arms and kissed
him. “How
about if we look after each
other? I think I
need some looking
after, too, you know.”
He
picked me up with his embrace. “You’ve
got a deal, Abby Harmon.”
I
giggled, “How much of a deal?
Care to make it official?”
He
sat me back down and beamed at me.
“How about if we change that to Abby
Patterson? Is that
official enough for
you?”
Just
then his sister walked in. “Egan
…I’m so glad you showed up.”
Both
of us let go and turned to face her.
“I
didn’t just show up, Nell,” Egan scolded
her. “I’d
not have known if it weren’t
for Abby here.”
Her
eyes fell. “I’m
sorry.
Dad …well, you know how he is.
But Mum’s been asking for you.”
“No
matter,” he sighed. “I’m
here now.”
“Reckon
you’re both hungry,” she glanced at
me. “I’ll
see what we’ve got I can fix
real quick like.”
I
wondered if he had meant what he said
before we were interrupted. Did
he
really want me to marry him? I
hadn’t
gotten a chance to answer him. We
watched each other silently as his sister muttered to herself and fixed
us some
breakfast. Then we
ate and made small
talk until his younger brother walked in and joined us.
I realized it might be quite some time before
Egan and I had a moment alone again.
*
As
the day wore on, I considered going home,
but I didn’t want to leave Egan’s side.
He seemed glad to have me there, and I was certainly glad
to stay,
though his father kept looking at me like I didn’t belong
there. I wondered
if he realized that I knew the
truth, and that was the reason.
Several
of us were in the kitchen again late
that evening, when Nell ran back in.
“Egan! She’s
asking for you.”
He
jumped up and ran to be at her side, and I
followed him, instinctively. I
was
surprised to see that her color had improved and she looked much better.
“Mum.”
He sat down on the bed and took her hand.
“I’m right here, Mum.”
“Sit
with me,” she smiled. “Both
of you.
Abby dear, you stay in here, too.”
I
sat down next to Egan this time, “I’m right
here. You look like
you’re feeling
better.”
“I
am.”
She patted his hand.
“It does me
good to have my son here.”
He
smiled at her. “Mum,
I have some news for you. Abby
here is going to be my wife.”
Her
face lit up, and my heart skipped a beat
when I heard him say it out loud.
“Oh,
that’s wonderful news!”
She reached for my hand, and I leaned closer
to let her have it. “I
know you two will
be good for each other. And
you’ll have
such pretty babies.”
He
laughed, “Mum, let’s take it one step at a
time, OK?”
Nell
must have been eavesdropping because I
heard her squeal, and she came around the corner to hug me. “Oh
that’s wonderful! I
didn’t think anyone would ever want that
scroungy brother of mine! Hope
you know
what you’re doing!”
“I
know,” I assured her. “For
the first time in my life, Nell. I
know exactly
what I’m doing.”
*
That
was five years ago, but it seems like
only yesterday. If
it weren’t for our
two sons running around to testify that the years are passing, I would
swear it
hadn’t been so long. My
house has turned
into our home, with rooms added to accommodate our growing family. His hut has turned into a
comfortable cabin
where we can all spend the hot summer months when we go up into the
mountains
to tend the cattle. Egan
tells me that
he’s ready for this next child to be a daughter, but I know
it’s another
son. A mother just
knows these things. Just
like his mother knew. She
was right; we have beautiful babies.
